I'm betting most of you have thought, "what is this, Ruca? ... Is Haley having some kind of identity crisis?" I'm hoping this post can shed some light on where my head has been - and where I'm at now.
Playing music has always been a kind of escape. From family stress, school, work, you name it. When I'm on stage with my eyes closed, I can transport somewhere far away - somewhere nobody else can reach. It's my 'Happy Place', as Chubbs would say.
I wasn't always so comfortable in my happy place... the only beings that heard me sing were the clothes hanging in my walk-in closet, and you bet I stuffed towels under the door to make sure it was totally soundproof. I recorded 3 videos on an archaic digital camera, in the dark, and uploaded them to youtube. I wanted opinions based solely on the sound, nothing else. Thankfully, the youtube mystics were super positive - for the most part - and I got a little braver. It still cracks me up that peope listened to the voice coming from the black abyss and took the time to comment (mucho thanks). If you line up my videos chronologically there is a very clear gradient from pitch black to brignt lighted rooms =)
I've come a long way from shutting myself in the closet - although anybody who knows me can tell you I still get supremely nervous in small company (I prefer crowds). I've discovered that I can write a song, express something personal. I used to tell myself I hated writing and would be content playing cover songs for the rest of my life. Thanks to the awesome scene I fell into, that changed - I was connected with a producer. As someone who usually ran in the opposite direction from anybody spitting the words 'management', 'producer', *gasp* 'original songs', I got good vibes from this guy. Let's just say my instincts were right on - Couldn't be happier that I chose to meet with Jack and co-write this project. Some shameless friend promotion - Check out WilloDisc :)
To make a very long, 12 month story short ... we talked (a LOT), laughed, guitared (yes, I just coined that verb), sat in silence, wracked our brains for that perfect word, cried (maybe me, just once), rapped, rhymed, and created. We turned my experiences into somthing so much... more. These songs are their own physical beings that I can let loose into the world like dandelion fluff... duuuust in the wind. All we are is... you get the drift.
Even better, I was lucky to have some ridiculous musicians add their 2 cents to the mix - Big thank you to everyone who lended their talents, whether you rocked the mic or your instrument, it is so appreciated. In between the music I was designing CD covers, business cards, logos - it bled into so many creative outlets.
Excitement cannot describe the feeling of finally being able to share this - with friends, family, strangers...
**side note - To the awesome people I haven't seen in months (and miss very much), this is where I've been. I'm pretty bad at life multi-tasking.. It's all about music, work, and music at this point. I'm hoping for some leveling out - which means the party is on :) **
Even though I feel like a bit more of a legit musician since the closet sessions, I can't forget my roots. My youtube alias has been xxRUCAxx since I was 15 years old, and I want to bring it full circle. I'll always be Haley, HaleyG, whatever - but when I get onstage and go to that other place, I'm RUCA now.
Mucho love to you all
RUCA xx
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