Tired of getting f*&^3$ over? Keep losing your phone? Bought a Toyota with that cash for clunkers? Wanna BMW?
Over red-light cameras, Iraq, the Taliban, and worrying about how you’re gonna pay your bills?
Wondering if that sore on your mouth’s a capias?
Surprised BP claims it’s suntan oil washing up on those beaches?
Wanna know who shot the cleric?
Then buy our album, already!
You need a shot of Mock-Rock from the world’s favorite, most-affordable, least-safe, best-tasting, highest-calorie, lowest-fat, mock- rock band – the YIDZ.
In alphabetical order, the YIDZ are:
ATILLA THE DRUMMER
Solid bone drumsticks on human hides, and long rides in the back of a pick up truck with a warm bag-o-grenades take the tension out of this savage percussionist’s tightly-wound tresses. More to follow……
“Composed”, “steady”, “a crack shot”. Not much else can be said about this native of Oswald, Texas whose musical compositions include, “Where the Fucks My Phone”, “I Shot The Cleric”, and “Menstrual Flow”. Has trouble ending a cell phone call.
This dark, mysterious Jewish prince’s musical lineage is not known. What is known is that he plays the vocal tremolo, falsetto pride and skin flute. He is most accomplished on the last instrument.
The band’s lead guitarist smokes Gibson lites. Faster than Pat Travers, he’s forced one of his housecats to get a job driving a gas truck. Also has trouble ending a cell phone call.
MORE ABOUT THE YIDZ!
The YIDZ are the world’s favorite, most-affordable, least-safe, best-tasting, highest-calorie, lowest-fat, mock-rock band.
EVEN MORE ABOUT THE YIDZ
Like I said….. The YIDZ are the world’s favorite, most-affordable, least-safe, best-tasting, highest-calorie, lowest-fat, mock-rock band.
Lee Harvey’s become fascinated lately with mail-order Italian bolt-action rifles, Wild Man wants to change his last name to “Feral” (he says it sounds “tamer”), and Mossad keeps denying that he plays the skin flute, insisting, instead, that it’s an organ.
We keep bitching at Atilla to finish mixing “Menstrual Flow”, “Tami’s Ass Is Tight”, “The Arduous Journey Of A Sperm”, “Julie O’Pain”, “Hang Up”, and “Oy (vey)”. Pull the pin, release the spoon, drop the grenade and mix the songs, already!
ABOUT THE SONGS ON THIS ALBUM
“I Shot The Cleric”
We must exercise caution. This song has been Talibanned. We can’t tell you what Paula Dean and the Cleric did with pork. We won’t describe the sound the cleric made when he fumbled beneath his gown. We dare not explain why the Cleric was break-dancing.
“Where The Fucks My Phone”
Lee Harvey loses his phone. You won’t believe where he finds it.
“I Wanna BMW”
Status-obsessed male spends all his money to drive unreliable, overpriced car made by Bavarian company that used to build airplane engines for Nazis.
“Kash For Klunkers”
Obama buys worthless Chevy before intoxicated, sleep-deprived dumbass drives it into dangerous social club filled with unstable deviants (bikers).
“It Ain't Cool To Have A Capias”
A "capias" isn't a sore on your mouth. It's an arrest warrant.
Surprisingly romantic lyrics on this song.