Once I was in a trap to sin, a deep, hard trap. But, I didn't even know it. I didn't know the joy I was missing out on until I was set free at age fourteen. I didn't know what life was like. I was in bondage to bitterness, and I didn't know it. I thought it was everybody else that was bitter. I was also held in bondage to lust. I have thought of it before, as a fighter jet that is stuck in a mud pit; gurgling deeper and deeper down below the light. I thought I was good. I thought I was a godly Christian. Oh, what a lie I was living. When my Mom was saying that she thought I needed to confess some sin, I thought, "Oh Mom, you're getting all worried about something that doesn't exist". Oh, what a proud, hypocritical, useless life I was living.
But when I was fourteen, I prayed with my parents. As I prayed aloud, my Dad named off all the sins in the book, slowly, one by one. And I confessed them one by one. All the sins that I had ever committed that I could think of, and I thought long and hard about each one. It was not easy. There was a war going on inside of me, and the devil wanted to win. But he didn't, praise God! In Psalms it says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me". So, I prayed that God would bring to light each sin in my life. I started to get excited as more and more got out into the light. I was starting to feel guiltless, and forgiven before God, and my parents. Finally, after about three hours, I got to a point that I honestly could not think of any more unconfessed sin in my life. The things that I needed to rectify with others (like stealing), I had already cleared up. And that is how I found freedom!
I remember sitting on the couch after the time of confession. I was so happy, enjoying the love of the Lord. I had never felt so light. I was thinking, "This is what true Christian life is". I couldn't stop smiling and laughing.
Ever since that day of clearing my conscience I have known what the true Christ life is! Praise the Lord! That was the second most important day in my life. The first was when I got saved, the second was when I was set free from sin, and found the Spirit life. I can now talk easily with my parents, like a good friend. I now know how sweet it is to pray. When I sing the song Sweet Hour of Prayer I can sing it from the depths of my heart. It's the same way with many of the old hymns, they have come alive to me now. I had heard them many times before, but my spirit didn't connect with them, until I experienced the genuine Christian life. I can sing them with all of my heart. Now I know what the grace of God is. It is the desire and power the do God's will. I had heard that many times before, but I didn't know what it was until I experienced it. God has given me so much grace that the desire to lust has been completely removed from me, it would only ruin all the joy I have. I love to talk about God. O see now the greatness of Christian fellowship. I now know what it means to have joy like a fountain, and peace like a river. It's like I am the most blessed person in the world. Like that fighter jet is hoisted up out of that mud, and soaring through the clouds, in the bright sunlight as fast as it can go. God has saved me from so much. Before I repented, the Bible was not exciting to me. I did not have a longing to read the precious Word of Life. But now I do. Close fellowship with God is so good. It is the most FUN thing there is. Words cannot describe His love for me. His compassions are new every morning. And such is the resurrection life!!! Jesus set's you absolutely free!!!
All this that I have been telling you about is step two. The first step is believing on Jesus to save you from the penalty of sin. If you have not done this you need God's Simple Plan of Salvation.
The Lord gave me a vision for my life soon after this transformation. It was that I should learn guitar, write songs, and sing. I wanted to show others, and lead them to Jesus's victory. On Christmas 1996 when I was 16 my good parents gave me a guitar. God gave me my first official song when I was 18 (God is So Good to Me), and He has given many since. Each time I get a new one I am amazed at how good it is. My web site( BrotherBear.org ) is a compilation of the things God has given me to fulfill the vision; especially the CD. God has inspired, and given me all these songs. They are parables, anyone who listens to them on the surface, will be blessed; but if you search them out you will keep finding deeper and deeper truths.