There's a couple tracks on here I could have done without, but the strong songs make it so worthwhile!

My favorite track? Track 3!! 'Brutus' by the phenomenal "Order of the Dying Orchid"!!

Buy the Disc! Pump it Up! Shake You ARSE!!
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Virginia-based Cherub Records mostly features indie-flavored bands, usually led by distorted guitars. Consequently, most of the music on Wake Up And Smell The Pheromones stays within the predictable categories of slapstick kitsch or post-punk, converging into screamo. The bands at the more extreme ends of the these genres tend to make the other ones look a little too ordinary; songs like Angels vs Aliens' "Kitty Purr", Catacomb Summer's "White Knuckle Dawn" and 30 Day Warranty's "Lost Ideas" come a dime-a-dozen nowadays. Screamed lyrics and heart-wrenching guitar lines give these tunes plenty emotion, but they pale in comparison to their more experimental neighbors.

Order of the Dying Orchid's "Brutus" is one of the most amazingly haunting songs that I've ever heard. The lyrics are sung in a lispy, childish style, and at first, due to the song's morbid themes, it all seems a little artificial -- yet I found myself continually coming back to the piece. Simple guitars give the verses a spacy yet paranoid feel. The lyrics grow more and more intense, moving from lines like "Have you ever seen a tiger eat a man? / I know because I have / I have" to "Have you ever held a knife in your hand? / I know because I have / I have."

Next up are "Cowboy" and "Captain T. Neal", both by Kids Techno, just in time to release most the tension created by Order of the Dying Orchid. Kids Techno's vocals sound like the vocalist just sucked up eight helium balloons; the lyrics, however, make up for this annoying effect. "Captain T. Neal" is especially entertaining, pairing lyrics about cleaning poop decks with larger than life, guitar-induced choruses. The Matlock Four's "Running Red Lights" is also memorable; at first the song sounds like standard emo, but about a minute in, its elements are reduced to two lead guitars playing significantly different riffs in different audio channels, with only occasional intersections. It's a simple, unexpected effect that yields amazing results. Rhino Horn (featuring Jason Thompson) contributes the hip hop-leaning "Aryan Jesus". Its spoken lyrics sound as if they were delivered from the mouth of a private dick from noir-land, oddly contrasting with their biblical/suburban imagery.

A couple of experimental tracks are simply tasteless. WBR's "Breakin da Law" is an unsatisfying attempt to make one of those slow-fast-slow-fast songs funny. Two songs by Slow Roasted Dog end the comp, and the latter, "Zombie Jesus", sounds like the soundtrack to hell, complete with lots of screams and poorly-dictated Shakespeare quotes.

Chances are, Wake Up And Smell The Pheromones' large share of punk music will either be a hit or miss for most fans, with its more extreme tracks receiving...well, more extreme responses. -- Josh Kazman

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