Album Notes

Lyrics samples:

Check the malls ‘cause we lost Mommy, Fa la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Over the closeouts and through the goods
Finding Grandmother’s gift again
Every year it’s a sweater, we’ve got to do better—
How ‘bout a box of Depends?

O Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree, you’re best when artificial

Jingle Bells, Christmas Sales, Mom’s in jail and miffed
Oh, she fought like Tyson, when someone grabbed her gift.

On the first day of Christmas, O Scrooge,
He gave to me, a Partridge Family LP!

‘Twas the “Diet” before Christmas and no Waffle House
No donuts or cheese snacks for this starvin’ mouse

Ho Ho Ho, it was her parking spot,
Ho Ho Ho, now it’s not ... so
Please call the mall cops, quick, quick, quick,
Granny’s gonna whack ‘em with her walking stick!