Album Notes

you are pregnant
well i would like to but i cant so i wont
you are married
i wish i could but i cant so i wont
you took my cat
are you at home can i call you right back
did i really imagine punching you in the stomach
did i really screw that new girl \'your fat ass girlfriend\' you call her
i wish i could take it back but i cant so i wont
i was standing at the line with a diamond well cubic in my hand
and piss poor that i am i turned my back and walked
today is the day that you told me
you are pregnant
that i didnt vomit in the aisle of kmart is a blessing
that i still shopped for astroglide is a miracle
that i had enough wherewithat to know 8.99 for lube is outrageous
i put it back
the child is not mine
the girl is not mine
we walked through the park
it was the morning after the disaster
a black homeless guy said put your arm around your girl
everyone was feeling lucky for what they had but i said
she\'s not my girl
well great yes but i cant so i wont
and my dandruff\'s coming back
and red spots appear on my back
i thought it was anthrax but the doctor said no
it was a nervous breakdown
ha imagine me having a nervous breakdown
i have to do it in my own inimitable way
weeping uncontrollably in the hairdryer section in the basement of kmart
while shopping for a mirror
still too expensive at $45
spit will have to do for lube
car windows for mirrors
still walking around with an erection
because i cant come during the first sex i\'ve had in 3 years
maybe you deserve this
i wish i could come on you
but i cant so i wont
they should sell this feeling instead of viagra
those old men could certainly use this
today i finally look my age
today i get in touch with rage
today i touch fire
today i live
today i change
today i vote
today i sing
today i breath today