Goddess Awaits-
This album is the first one that I feel comes directly from my heart to the page. I am more proud of this than anything. It is such a feeling of accomplishment when you can create a vision, work through all the struggles and obstacles then see the actual results.
On my last album, I had worked out who I was as an artist. On this album, I can tell my story:
My love story. Finding and knowing my amazing man ‘In Your Arms’
Finding my own path-getting rid of my co-dependence ‘Touching Down’
Seeing into the Future ‘Superelectrifical’
The story of my friends and loved ones in the military ‘Come Back Home’
Being a misfit in Junior High and High School...and today ‘Misunderstood and Proud’
My Superstitious nature and interest in Fate ‘Nobody Knows’
Meeting, helping, and knowing AIDS survivors in Northern China ‘Tell Me Your Story’
The painful loss of what could have been the first female leader of the free world ‘Commander in Chief’
My friends on-line dating stories ‘Virtual Romance’
My devotion to Miss Alicia Keys ‘Something’s Missing’
The anthem song that is the purpose of my music ‘GODDESS’
In Your Arms
From my heart. To my love. I love you. You are the most beautiful soul put on this earth. I am so blessed to be with you and loved by you.
In Your Arms
I’m from a small town
with one traffic light
its called Marlborough
Your from a big town
from across the world
you’ve been everywhere
Pre Chorus
you never made me feel small
for barely seeing the world at all
you never made me feel bad
for the simple life that I’ve had
Chorus
I love to wrap up in your arms
and leave the world behind
you always keep me safe from harm
where ever we are
I was an average girl
who went to music school
and you were so smart
and went to medical school
and you learned four languages
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Oh, we can see the world together
I can’t wait to
It’s ok if it takes forever
I can’t wait to
Chorus
Chorus
Touching Down
I wrote these lyrics a long time ago. It was a bad time. I had become Miss #1 Codependent. Wearing the sash and banner and following the leader. In this case, my leader didn’t care about me, didn’t want the best for me, and edited my every move. Strangulation would have been more freeing. I dreamed about flying off ‘leaving my whole life behind’ and becoming a brand new powerful, independent girl.
I did end up breaking away from my leader, burning my Miss #1 Codependent sash and starting fresh, all without leaving my life behind. “That which doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger.”
Touching Down
I’m leaving you again
there’s a chance I’m not coming home
It’s weird but I’m so free
Pre-Chorus
of my loneliness
I’m not scared of you anymore
Chorus
Touching down
leaving all my life behind
taking off
and let it all fall away
I’m sorry what I said
never thought it would end this way
couldn’t take much more of this
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Thinking we could work it out sometimes
but we tried so hard
so much better off now
Tell Me Your Story
I wrote this song on the train coming back from Northeast China. The lyrics are an exact description of my meeting a group of spectacular kids outside their one room school house in a small village in Northern China. The Chi Heng foundation is so wonderful, helping these kids, telling their story and getting the anti-retroviral medications they so desperately need. I was so glad to be able to help out, meet this village and now tell their story. When I was in the studio, I printed out this picture of these kids to keep the memory as I sang the lyrics, to bring their souls into the studio, and to translate their story more personally. Here are a few photos from that day.
Tell Me Your Story
In a one room school house
down an endless dirt road
past the cities and towns
and the rows of tiny homes
and the drive in the van
down the dusty bumpy path
and a road that leads to new friends
and the one room school house
all 6, 7 and 8 years old
their faces fresh
with their hopeful eyes
Chorus
Tell me your story
bare feet and open heart
tell me your story
I can see you’ve been hiding your hurt
tell me your story
it’s in your eyes
They sing a song of welcome
with pride and strength
and they’re line so perfectly
row by row
and the ones in front
are impacted by AIDS
lost their parents or friends
or infected as well
but their smile seems as bright
as the ones just behind
they’ve been hiding their hurt
from the whole world
Pre Chorus
Chorus
This is the village
that time forgot
this is the village
the world forgot
its in their eyes
Chorus
Chorus
Superelectrifical
All growing up my parents had a subscription to Scientific American. I read it once in a while. I found once I graduated BU, that I too had to have a subscription to Scientific American. It was, and is, an amazing magazine. Amazing because it is printing the latest and greatest finds of our scientific world. One month, maybe 3 years ago now, had the latest research on space and time. The scientific world had proven without a doubt that time as we understand it...does not exist. What? Does not exist. At the subatomic level, we are floating in and out of dimensions. There are many dimensions that have been proven and we are existing consciously in only one of them. String theory-as I understand it. I read and re-read that month trying to wrap my head around this latest research. How could they just print something so easily that turned my world upside down. This was mind blowing. Still today, I can’t get it. What am I supposed to do with this latest research? How can you go on ‘being’ happily if time doesn’t exist? It was reassuring in a twisted way because I felt that this was the most scientific explanation of God that I could see. No time+infinite space=higher being with a grand plan. I felt that if I went forward in time...say maybe 1000 years, Scientific American...and all people would have this little fact figured out and we would be adapting to this new truth. What would that look like? Well, if time doesn’t exist then time travel is no issue, and the engineering of space travel would be sorted out. So, we could fly to other galaxies. And if space travel is no issue, then the laws of gravity on this tiny earth could be worked around, and we could just float anywhere we were thinking of.
So, me and my two sisters were sitting by the fire at my parents house in New Hampshire when this blast of light took us to this future.
It’s a dream. But, It’s real. This is real science.
Superelectrifical
Once upon a time
in a place nearby
there were three girls by the fire
when a blast of light
flashed through the night
and changed our lives forever
in the blink of an eye
1000 years go by
and we just cant believe it
Pre Chorus
its magical and mystical
and superlectrifical
flying cars and travel to the stars
Chorus
is it all real
I think that Im dreaming
all around me
i got this feeling
is it all real
or just make believe
I can’t believe I’m here
Body and soul in an altered state
and it felt just like nirvana
everyone around wasn’t on the ground
I looked down and I was floating
Flying high in the sky to a distant land
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Time, Space
they don’t exist
Life is not
as it appears
it feels right
to float in and out
through stars and sky
with a flash of light
Chorus
Chorus
Come Back Home
War. It doesn’t seem to me that in the 21st century we would still find it understandable and necessary to kill people to solve our problems. It seems like this should have been figured out a long time ago. I would think that evolution should have taken that one out of the equation. The dark ages, the World Wars, the atom bomb- should have shown the complete purposelessness of that resolution.
This song was written about specific people, who out of respect I won’t name personally. But, this war has been personal to me- and to so many families in the US. We love you and need you here. Come back home.
Come Back Home
She served two terms in Afghanistan
up in and out of those hills
She doesn’t talk about it much
she lost her best friend on that day
She had a thirst for adventure
and always a strong sense of pride
she has a vision for this world
and just wanted to do her part
Pre Chorus
I know it’s complicated
but she’s right here with me
Chorus
She’s just one of us
trying to do what’s right
he’s just one of us
we’re just part of this fight
I don’t know what’s wrong or what’s right with war
but, I’m praying for you to come home
you made your momma proud
and we need you and love you here
Come back home, please come back home
He left right out of high school
he was a career man
a soccer star and he was funny as hell
always a leader as well
He’s tough from afar
but, he’s got a big teddy bear heart
he’s not the same man that I once knew
I can see the hurt in his eyes
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
They don’t judge the why’s or how’s
they are seeing it through to the end
Their hearts and minds are powerful
with single minded strength
Chorus
Chorus
Misunderstood and Proud
I spent a lot of time
on my own
not so many kids
wanted to be around me
mighta thought
I was goofy
always were laughing at me
Misjudging my outside
Call me crazy, call me quirky, call me strange,
call me anything
im not who you think i am
call me lazy, call me shady call me weird
call me anything just cuz you know me
dont pretend you understand
Misunderstood and Proud
My insides dont match my out
but you keep on
judging me
keep on keep on
misunderstood and Proud
my insides dont match my out
i take the hard road
i’ll do it my way
Move on, move on
Life has a funny way
of catching up with me
now all the boys they wanted
to get with me
mighta thought
i was easy
mighta thought
that they knew me
now the world they misjuge me
just because of my outsides
why you judging me
doesnt matter to me anyway
i’m taking one day at a time
and I’m laughing out loud
I’m no different than you
don’t mind going alone
cuz I’m so misunderstood and proud
Nobody Knows
I have to admit something. I’m superstitious. I love the psychisc, I love tarot card readings. I think astrologists are on to something...numerology, palm reading...all of it.
That being said, I don’t over indulge in my fix. I’m particular about who I talk to, and I don’t always believe what I hear.
I got into numerology from the Chinese. Every single show I have in China has to be aligned with the stars. They set the schedule according to the most auspicious day. They are very specific about it. My first show was re-scheduled at the last minute- costing me 500 dollars and a replaced bassist because the stars weren’t aligned for the day that was originally set for the show.
After that I thought there must be something to this, if high powered executives, hotel owners, publicists and event coordinators all had to have the show on a day the stars were aligned.
I believe in fate and destiny. But, I also believe in the power of choice. How do these two entities exist together, though? If everything is pre-determined, what place does my choice have? Can I change my destiny?
I was in Pakistan at a photo shoot with a friend’s friend who was an accomplished palm reader. He was reading one of his co-workers destiny stating that she would ‘lose an eye’ An eye! Can she change her destiny? Can I change mine? I have heard that you can, but everything any astrologer ever told me will happen-has happened.
Nobody Knows
Its hard to know
what’s gonna happen next
we can make a guess
or try to influence
but its hard to know
where it all will go
we don’t know
cuz nobody know, nobody knows, nobody knows
Any moment things can change
We can make a guess
but it’s hard to know, hard to know, hard to know
Pre Chorus
Life is hard to keep my head on straight
for whatever life is bringing me
Chorus
Is it fate or destiny
is it luck
or it’s on me
live for today
don’t let it get away
Is it fate or destiny
is it luck
or it’s on me
nobody knows
what tomorrow will bring
I’ve tried tarot cards
and read my stars
and the iris scan
used my spirit guides
even visualized
but i realize now
its all up to me
cuz nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody knows
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Ah ooh
so many choices
Im lucky to have choices
ah ooh
just wanna chose the right way
gotta keep out of trouble
Chorus
Chorus
GODDESS
I have wanted to write this song for so long... so long. I think it turned out to be fun, dancey, strong, playful but meaningful. This is the anthem I sing to myself right before a red carpet event, or a show, or a party filled with models.. It’s one life, I can feel good in my skin, make every second amazing- or be scared and filled with self doubt. I chose GODDESS. I chose GODDESS for the entertainment industry. I chose GODDESS for corporate america. I chose GODDESS for our government. I chose GODDESS for the future generation of girls.
Chorus:
GODDESS x4
Im free like a Goddess
I fly like a Goddess
come and be a Goddess with me.
I’m hot like a Goddess
I rock like a Goddess
come and be a Goddess with me.
Verse 1:
you know your beautiful
why do you doubt yourself
you know you’ve got today
you are so wonderful
and it’s empowering
together we’ll find a way
Pre-Chorus:
follow your heart
don’t tear yourself apart
because of what the others say
Chorus
Chorus
Verse 2:
Now that you’ve come this far
don’t you feel powerful
do you know your strength?
You can have everything
spread your wings fly away
find you own better day
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Breakdown:
throw your hands up in the air
throw your hands up in the air
let me see you dance right there
let me see you dance right there
repeat
Your a Goddess a Goddess
throw your hands up in the air
Your a Goddess a Goddess
let me see you dance right there
Your a Goddess a Goddess
throw your hands up in the air
Your a Goddess be honest
You just don’t care
Chorus
Chorus
Little love
Nothing is more perfect than Little Love. New Love. Innocent Love.
But, little love grows up and you have to adapt. Sometimes you really miss it. You want it back.
Just like I am never going to be a child again and time has taken the edge off my childlike wonder, the same with love. Doesn’t make mature love unwanted. I still wouldn’t trade my mature love for a little love with anyone else in the whole world.
Little love
Precious love
never had to work real hard
it was all so easy then
like laughing through the night
it was fun and playful then
Pre-Chorus
your kiss made my knees feel weak
your body felt so right
Chorus
so innocent our love was happiness
but time took that away
how do we find our way back to the place
seems like yesterday
little love
i miss that
little love
that perfect love
little love
precious love
now everything seems so hard
cuz I’m so so mad at you
we never used to fight like that
I’d like to go back in time
and bring back all the love we had
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
sometimes I see myself without you
and I don’t know if I want it to be true
when times get hard
I don’t want to let you go
cuz I only want to be with you
Chorus
Somethings Missing
I’m not one of those 2 second songwriters. Write a track and the words start pouring out. I have to sit with it, think about it, feel it out, let it talk to me a bit, and then the words come. They come, but not usually flowing right out. I write and re-write.
This was not one of those songs though. This was a moment in the studio with Simone on the guitar and Rich matching the beat where it all came together at once. Simone had this cool retro-r&b feel guitar vibe going. He just started playing it. It reminded me of Alicia Keys albums which I love and have listened to hundreds of thousands of times. And I just started singing to it. This is the first go around of the vocals. Nothing re-touched, nothing even re-sung. The whole thing took an hour. And, I am pretty sure it is Simone’s favorite on the album.
This is one of the benefits of being an Independent Musician. No label head to tell me ‘This feel is so different from the rest of the album”, “This wont play with top 40 radio”, ‘The album has to feel like its the same artist all the way through”.
Well this album is written all by the same artist. Who, just like you, has lots of musical interests, influences and loves. I love Alicia Keys and Dance music, and Carrie Underwood and gospel music and even opera...Ok, that one is not like you. :)
Somethings Missing
Somethings Missing
in my life
Somethings Missing
in my days, baby
The way your hand was perfect in mine
and your body fits me just right
I never felt just like that
since you’ve been gone
Chorus
Oh, my baby’s gone away
and left me here alone
my baby’s got a new love
oh, and I’m on my own
Verse 2
Somethings Missing
ooh from my heart
somethings missing
from my soul
the way your hand was perfect in mine
and your body fits me just right
I never felt just like that
since you been gone
Chorus
Oh my baby’s gone away
and left me here alone
my baby’s got a new love
oh and I’m on my own
Sideshow Freak
just laugh and smile every time I hear/sing this song.
Rich(my producer) presented to me this track that he and Simone had put together called ‘New Cow Pokey’. The track itself was tongue in cheek country. It was funny-just by itself. Cute. So, I started writing to it, with this idea that I was broken down in the country, the hot desert roads of Texas trying to get a ride into town. But, who cares about that guy, so he gets a ride, so he doesn’t whatever...
But, what if I was part of a sideshow. I was a midget wrestler, or a bearded lady, armless wonder, or a 7 feet tall sword swallower. Imagine you are that guy, walking up to a farmhouse outside of Galviston, people would be much less likely to come racing to the door to help out a human pincushion when they peaked out of the window to see them coming. But, they need the help just as much. He has his family, all part of the traveling carnival, but step outside of that group he is an un-welcomed guest. Maybe someone helps him out, you hope someone does, but maybe not. Maybe he feels like he’s ‘half-a mile from hell’.
Sideshow Freak
Halfway through the desert
Galviston’s ahead
my pickup’s giving me trouble
my gages showing red
in the dead of summer
old girl’s breaking down
gotta get a walkin’
farmhouse up ahead
knock, knock, knocking
trying to get attention
no one gonna help me
once they look at me
Pre-Chorus
knock, knock, knocking
tying to get attention
no ones gonna help me
knock, knock knocking
trying to catch a break
they don’t wanna help me
cuz I’m a sideshow freak
Chorus
Sideshow, sideshow, sideshow freak
not like no of y’all
I’m a sideshow freak
Repeat
Verse 2
Born into the carnival
that’s way its always been
always had my kinfolk
was watching after me
Now I’m here a walkin’
all by my lonesome self
not with all my misfits
I’m just freakin’ people out
Pre-Chorus
Chours
Knock know
Bridge
Once I get back home
I’m safe again
how did I end up here
half a mile from hell?
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Hoping and Praying
I was a temp. I worked in a bunch of the downtown Boston big accounting, finance, lawyering firms. Deloutte and Touche, Smith Barney were a few of the chosen companies that I graced the front desk of. In some ways, it was fascinating. Finance is dominated by men. Mostly men, yes not all. Mostly. The way most finance companies are set up is the same was as MadMen. Have you seen that TV show? The secretaries sit out front of the man’s office and bring him coffee. We would set up the working lunch then race in after it was done to see if there were any free sandwiches left. I have grabbed a happily eaten client sandwich in my day. Ughh. One place I interviewed didn’t allow women to wear pants. It is that way still. There are a few woman offices...but mostly not. Mostly women still make 75 cents to the mans dollar. fact.
Hoping and Praying
10 minutes late
but don’t bite my head off
I was running through midtown and the Starbucks line was long
but I got your coffee
and your shirts from the cleaners
I’m in the elevator and Im changing my shoes
I walk up to your desk
forgot there was a meeting
gave me the look from hell
and I knew my day was screwed
Everyday here’s the same
nothing has changed
I’m just taking up space
praying for the weekend
Chorus
Climbing up
reaching out
but I’m smashing my head against the wall
working hard
busting ass
I’m hoping and praying you don’t forget me again
Verse 2
My girlfriends and me
were out partying past midnight
cuz we’re all in the same place
going nowhere fast
don’t know what’s fair or now
I can barely pay for this round
I’m an educated girl
who cant get ahead
and Im running in a circle
feeling down, counted out
they don’t think of me much
just a punching bag and dumping ground
PreChorus
Chorus
Chorus
Commander in Chief
This song is my heart pouring out onto the page.
If you know me, you know I was an early and happy Hillary for President supporter. I wrote this song the day that she pulled out of the race. It’s so bitter, I will admit that. This song was the cause of most of the fights with my producer. I wanted to put it on the album, its heartfelt even if its bitter. No one is happy all the time, this was as true an emotion as any. I was never rational when it came to this song, so god help the audience if/when I ever perform this song.
This song is dedicated to those that have ever wanted something so so bad their heart ached. You prayed, worked, and slaved for that thing only to watch it slip from your hands. You lost, you didn’t get it, you didn’t win. It happens. It hurts. Life is not fair. This is our song.
Commander in Chief
I guess we missed it
our chance to ever see it
cuz now its all over
Im gonna live my whole life
and probably never see it
cuz now its all over
I dont get why it didnt happen
after everything we’ve been through
cuz now its all over
got my head in my hands
for the future generation
cuz now its all over
Pre-Chorus
I just wanted a chance
for a woman to be on top
Chorus
and I’m mad
it didnt happen
and I’m sad
it didnt happen
its not right
it shouldn’t happened
its right now
shouldve been commander in chief
Verse 2
I know we missed it
our chance to ever see it
cuz its so over
and I’ll be 94
sitting on my porch
just shaking my head back and forth
cuz I’ll have lived my whole life
in the 21st century
and I never saw it
and you can feel how bitter I am
and I don’t mind even saying
cuz its so over
Pre-chorus
Chorus
Bridge
I feel for what could have been
and what it means to me
so few that are on top
i was wishing and praying
Repeat
Chorus
Chorus
Catch Me A Killer
I love the wild wild west. The complete lawlessness that was the open range. It’s kill or be killed. In this song me defending my ranch against outlaws... its kill.
This song is so fun because it’s the complete opposite of me. I absolutely HAVE to make a video for this song. Can’t you see the whole thing. I will learn how not to fall off a horse just for this song.
Catch Me A Killer
Riding on the range
feeling kinda strange
someone drew a beat, I could see
An outlaw up ahead
too late to get away
the bullet in my horse was for me
Pre Chorus
This is the Wild Wild West
Chorus
You made a big mistake
You went and shot my horse
I’m gonna catch me a killer
I’m gonna shoot him dead.
Verse 2:
Went back into town
started asking ‘round
found his favorite watering hole
Sitting at the bar drinking whiskey by the jar
waiting for my friend to show
it was quarter past 10 and he came walking in
my moment was finally here.
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
They call me the dead eye dame
mess with me, I’ll blow out your flame
you got what you deserve
Chorus
Chorus out
Virtual Romance
This song comes from my blue journal that comes from recycled paper from the rainforest inhabitants stitched together to create a book. I swear that’s what it says, I got it from Papyrus. I love the feeling of the paper when you write on it and it has this twine binding that you have to be so gentle with. Its the perfect place to write your innermost feelings.
This song came from midnight writing thinking of everybody I know who have match.com sites. Working the ins and outs of photoshop to perfect that ‘natural look’, editing and re-editing the ideal catch phrases in your bio, looking whimsical and witty and not desperate and detached... I love it. I don’t knock it, this site works. People do get married from on-line dating, its completely practical.
This is the date story of one overly doctored Match.com site, an un-apologetically doctored man. It was a little cruel in the first go-around. It went: ‘Im not sure how you thought I would miss those extra 80 pounds, and that PHD flew right out the door, and you were clearly now so un-retouched...’ It came across needlessly mean, so we edited it to make it a happy ending. Every girl loves to dance, especially salsa! I suck at it, but I don’t care, I will salsa the night away happily. So, the idea that this trickster could salsa and was good at it, gives the story a twist and makes the girl less cruel. I thought she had every reason to be cruel, he lied, but this works better. And the track is too fun to be cruel. :)
Virtual Romance
Verse 1
You sounded so cute on the phone
and your picture online looked tasty
that PHD from MIT
I was intreged
So I said we could meet downtown
Pre-Chorus
Im ready to meet Mr. Right... Now
Chorus
Digitally Romanced
Physically Enhanced
Graphic Redesigned
Repeat
Verse 2
Met at the bar at 9
not exactly what I had in mind
spoke 3 words to me
and then you grabbed my hand
taught me how to salsa dance
spent the whole night spinning around
Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Mis-informed his match.com
but here tonight
im having fun
maybe we will meet again
having drinks with my new man
Chorus
Chorus
and he’s my virtual man.
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