Hog Whitman | Not Sold In Stores

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Country: Outlaw Country Country: Alt-Country Moods: Mood: Funny
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Not Sold In Stores

by Hog Whitman

Loved By Bajillions™. #1 on Wasilla jukeboxes(?) for even longer than Sinatra. Bob Sinatra. More family fun than Lawn Darts. May contain real instruments. Call before midnight tonight. But wait, there's more. No there's not. Whoa, tough room
Genre: Country: Outlaw Country
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. The 'C' Word Song
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3:59 album only
2. Blow Me a Kiss
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3:33 album only
3. Leather Whips and Rubber Underwear
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2:51 album only
4. Reds, Yellows, and Rainbows
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3:16 album only
5. I'm So Depressed
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2:43 album only
6. Bad Bob
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2:59 album only
7. That's My Brother
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3:31 album only
8. The Liz Wilde Show
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1:57 album only
9. Doxidan
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2:59 album only
10. Pretty Butt Blues
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3:01 album only
11. High On the Hog
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0:53 album only
12. Voodoo 2
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3:20 album only
13. Radio Spot
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1:03 album only
14. Delete!
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1:45 album only
Available as MP3, MP3 320, and FLAC files.


Album Notes
Disturbingly dirty, yet not 'quite' filthy songs about breakups, pickups, beer, and even the occaisional laxative --- Hog Whitman steps out of an old-fashioned jukebox and vents his alt.country spleen, pancreas,
butt ...well, you get the idea.

Gallagher concerts were, comparatively, hygenic.

One of America's most influential people, radio host Don Imus, has actually called him "The Great Hog Whitman". Imus used to have this terrible drinking and drug problem, so cut him some slack on that one. People can fall off the wagon. Smart money would bet that way. (note: you can listen to a live recording of Hog and Imus here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijhpDBgIPLg)

Long hailed as both "The King of Butt Songs™", and "The Prince of Poop Music™", Hog Whitman has managed to remain humble and grounded despite all the accolades and rabid fan-adoration. As he is fond of saying, "Aw heck, I still put my pants on one-leg-at-a-time, just like everybody else...the only difference is: my pants smell funny". With that kind of humility, is it any wonder that Hog Whitman is loved by millions? Nope.

Despite his exhaustive touring schedule, Hog always finds the time to "give back" to the community. He has been the guest of many large institutions. Due to his passed mastery of all things "scat", his college lecture series, "The Delicate Art of Writing Really Shitty Songs" is perennially SRO at campus' from the Falkland Islands to Haiti.

Be sure to stay tuned for the new CD from Hog Whitman & The West Texas Rectum Wreckers: "It'll Only Hurt for a Minute", with the #1 Smash Hit single, "It Felt Right In Your 'Wrong' Place", which is currently being written.

Note: Single downloads of all songs are available from Napster/Musicmatch/iTunes/Rhaposody, etc.

And hey! Don't forget to read all the spiffy reviews down below here! Might as well...they cost an arm and a leg!


to write a review

Lee Sweet

Hog Whitman:Not Sold in Stores
Been looking for this for years and it was worth the wait.My wife and I are still laughing.I remember seeing him on Imus a long time ago.Thanks Hog,for the fun time and CD Baby for offering this CD.Can't wait to play this at the next church banquet.

Big Mike

Hog rocks
This CD is a laugh a minute riot. I had a tough time finding it after hearing Hog on Imus many years ago. All the time I spent was well worth it. I have it playing in my car all the time and I'm sure Hog would appreciate the stares I get when other motorist are wondering what is that crazy man laughing at.
Can't recommend this enough and strongly suggest you purchase this for yourself and any friends that have a sense of humor

Chris K. Gods of Music

Fun, Frivolous, Satirical!
This is hilarious! In fact, everything the Hog does on (this CD) is hilarious ... kinda like taking the best of "Freakin' At The Freakers Ball" and joining it with the tongue in cheekiness of Ray Stevens.

"What ever happened to Reds, Yellows and Rainbows" and references to Qualudes (kids you're too young to remember those I think) and other famous "downers" of the late sixties thru the early seventies ... a real joy of a song for us oldsters who remember such things.

Excellent production work makes this a recording that will not only stay on my harddrive for awhile but which would make it onto my mp3 player if it were available in downloadable form [note, single downloads now available from Itunes/Rhapsody, etc.].

Fun, frivolous, and decidedly satirical, with a definate adult sense of humor, Hog Whitman gets my vote for funniest country star online this year. Chris K. godsofmusic.com

Steve H. Hog On Ice.com

Hog Whitman--the CD is nearly over--is warped from one end to the other. He sings a lot about his butt. However, it's not gratuitous butt-singing. It's always appropriate and in the proper context. I think you know what I'm trying to say. It's like the butt jokes in Titus Andronicus or Waiting for Godot. They're essential to the dramatic effect....

This ale is really nice. Less crystal malt next time, I think. Did I say that already?...

The upsetting thing--one of the many, many upsetting things--about Hog Whitman's CD is that the music is actually pretty good with or without the anal sex jokes. Although they certainly enhance it...

You really have to listen to Hog's song about Doxidan. I have come to the sad realization that no matter how old I get or how many degrees I have, I will always be a sucker for toilet humor..."Mentally ill" is a phrase we toss around carelessly these days. This CD reminds me that there was a time when it had real meaning. This man is in need of powerful drugs, possibly administered rectally by burly orderlies...
Steve H., author; "Eat What You Want And Die Like A Man"


Humor is a rare in find in most of the modern music written today.
about the "C" Word Song...

I couldn't help but laugh and smile at every point during this song. Walk into any country bar across America while this song is playing, and I guarantee that 50% of the patrons are either singing along or dancing to this tune. His lyrical antics will get everyone riled up and ready to kick their heels and stomp their boots. This song will be in every Honky Tonk bar across the USA, and will be played as much as Garth Brooks song "Friends In Low Places".

I am happy to say that the Country music world has a new star: Hog Whitman. Wherever this song is heard, people will be singing along and dancing the night away.

Yer Mama's Guide to Internet Music

Look what popped out of the cookie jar today!
Hog Whitman Well..well…well…. look what popped out of the cookie jar today! Now I have to issue a WARNING about this artist. This is adult content (not necessarily mature), and not for the easily offended. Hog Whitman is a tribute to the power of pork! His alternative country tunes are musical masterpieces and the lyrics… well you just have to hear them. His latest CD; Not Sold in Stores is the perfect addition for the audiophile looking for something to keep old Aunt Agnes from overstaying her welcome this next holiday season.

Indie Net Tunes

Tie Down the Hounds!
Hog Whitman is a man on a mission.

He knows the ropes of the entertainment world. He knows how to get attention. He knows a witty quip when he thinks of it and he knows how to shock the hell out of a catholic nun AND his fans and followers with just a simple strum of a guitar and a rambling from his demented but old school country twinged tongue. As well, he knows how to capture the attention of a national celebrity or a disrespectful smartass. But it seems that he especially loves upsetting an unsuspecting John or Jane Doe purist!

Witness the power of pork... classic country themes (beer, women and trucks) ... done hoggy style.