Album Notes

My album "Toast" is a hodgepodge of various tunes I've written and recorded since 1997 between playing nearly 1,000 shows and tons of sessions as an engineer and guitarist. My stuff is certainly not mainstream, but if you are a fan of balls to the wall rock guitar and don't mind that I can't sing like Robert Plant or Stevie Wonder or that I have a bizarre, irreverent sense of humor, I am confident that you will like my album. It's got some cool heavy pop tunes, some weird stuff, some nice acoustic stuff your mom and grandma will like, awesome guitar solos, and the best vocals I could do...usually layered in three part harmony. 5 out of 5 stars on garageband.com and numerous awards including best guitar, bass, and drums! 1. "You're All Gonna Die" A progressive/heavy power pop tune with a tongue in cheek message. It's basically my message to all the worry warts in the world. This tune has some killer vocal harmonies and a badass Brian May meets Eric Johnson guitar solo. Believe it or not, at least one person has requested this to be played at their funeral! 2. "Stalker Girl" This is a humorous song based on my experiences as a 30-something single dude. It actually caused a bit of a controversy on my website guestbook when a few ex-girlfriends started bickering about who the "stalker girl" is. I will never reveal the true stalker girl's identity. People have described this tune as the Beach Boys combined with Weezer with a shredding Brian Mayish guitar solo. 3. "Toast" The title track. A blazing instrumental that has received tons of awards on garageband.com. This tune isn't really supposed to have any meaning...it's just me showing off on guitar and trying to purge my shred desires from my system once and for all. A lot of people say this reminds them of Steve Morse which is strange...I've never really listened to Steve Morse. 4. "My Birthday" I wrote this one about a particular ex-girlfriend who, while hot, was always getting way, way too drunk and could never hold down a job. Fun while it lasted. This is the only song I've ever written that has no guitar solo (a sign of maturity?), but it does have a brief snippet of the melody from "Narcolepsy" by Ben Folds. The sound of this tune is what might result if Ben Folds played guitar like Eddie Van Halen. 5. "Monkey Butt" Grinding dissonance and odd time signatures combined with wacked out, funny lyrics make this the weirdest song I've ever written. It has my favorite lyric; "blackness in a hole between a tooth, remnants of a three-day Baby Ruth." It was inspired by a bad hangover combined with a waitress who may have been the ugliest human being I've ever seen. 6. "Rainspots" This a nice acoustic instrumental that Mom's and Grandma's tend to really like. I love the acoustic guitar sound I got on this one and guitar players will dig the solo. I wrote this one rainy morning when I woke up and was feeling really good. 7. "Head" Written during a particularly downtrodden time in my life after a bitter breakup. You can definitely tell I was listening to a lot of Alice in Chains when I wrote this and I go into "Yes" mode during the solo. 8. "Jerry Reed is the Devil" This Dick Dale inspired surf tune was written along with my bandmates in my 50's/60's parody band the Chester's...we hate Jerry Reed. Seriously, he comes across as a good ol' boy redneck, but he's really an uppity dickhead. Last time I met him, I burned his ass by bringing up his performance in "Smokey and the Bandit 3..." possibly the worst movie ever made. 9. "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" Ok, it takes some balls to tread on the sacred ground that is the Beatles, but I love them and I thought "why not?" It's a tune I can sing decently, has wacky enough lyrics to fit with my other stuff, and I got to cover the super fast chromatic runs on electric guitar! I definitely enjoyed giving this song my treatment and learning the bass line of Sir Paul McCartney was a real treat! 10. "4 KG" Imagine KG of Tenacious D on top of one mountain, and myself on top of another battling it out for the title of Supreme Guitar Master of the Universe...with Satan as the judge..this is what I would play! This has some balls to the wall acoustic shredding and some incredibly unique, ethnic-sounding percussion from Brendan Gamble. 11. "Dirty Little Nun (Nasty Habit)" This is a tune I wrote for my 80's metal tribute/parody band, Leather Pistol. It's intended to be funny and deliberately offensive...Please do not listen to it if you are devoutly religious or take yourself too seriously. I go ballistic on the guitar solo; a tongue in cheek tribute to my idol when I was 15, Yngwie Malmsteen. 12. "November" This is a semi-sappy acoustic ballad I wrote after I split up with a long-time girlfriend. I couldn't sing it, so I had Becca Kaid do the job and she sounds beautiful. If you like her performance, you should check her out at www.beccakaid.com This another tune that Moms and Grandmas tend to like.