Album Notes

Don't fight invasive TSA checkpoint rubdowns. Enjoy them! Dress up in your best necklaces and rings. Put on that studded belt. Stick a corkscrew inside your pants pocket, then head for the nearest TSA airport security checkpoint...

Grope me gently, airport security guard
Run your firm hands along my thigh
Remove my shoes and softly stroke my feet
You're the only reason that I fly

Rummage through my dirty underwear
Touch my toothbrush with those same hands
Ball my dry-cleaned shirts into a wad
Then take a closer look inside my pants

Detain me and search me. Make your country proud.
I changed my name to Mohammed,
so you would pick me out of the crowd!

Grope me gently, airport security guard
Run your firm hands along my thigh
Brush your big wand across my butt cheeks
You're the only reason that I fly

I love to fly... and it shows!