Album Notes

One of the benefits of working for Revista Deshonesta magazine is the opportunity to hang out with musicians that you truly admire. This was such a day, as I was given the assignment to write a "Day In The Life" piece on rock legends RAYMOND AND SCUM.

For those pretending to be too hip to know about Raymond And Scum, they're the musical force behind the two incredible albums, "Touch It" and "Suck." They also hosted their own kids show in the 1955 ("The Suck Show"), headlined Woodstock in 1969, wrote the score for "Star Wars" in 1977 and spearheaded the hit single, "We Are The World" in 1985.

I called Raymond And Scum's manager, Monty, to set up a time and place to meet the boys (vocalist Jeff Smith and guitarist Matthew Dunn). He suggested we meet at their favorite restaurant, "Uncle Salty's Gentlemen's Club." I'd never heard of the place but when Monty mentioned the $1.99 salad bar, I was totally game.

In preparation for the big interview, I dug into my box of Raymond And Scum video tapes for a quick refresher course. "R&S Tape 1" featured their music videos from the early 80's, including their #1 single, "I Said I Love You Now Please Untie Me And Give Me Back My Clothes", which was also the very first music video to air on MTV. "R&S Tape 2" featured their appearances on "The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson", "The Arsenio Hall Show", "The Magic Hour starring Magic Johnson" and the episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" where the bike shop owner molests Dudley. Raymond And Scum were never on "Diff'rent Strokes", so I'm not sure why that was on the tape. Oh well. It's a pretty funny episode, anyway.

Finally, the big day arrived. In my excitement, I showed up at "Uncle Salty's Gentlemen's Club" about a half hour early. I was tempted to make my way over to the $1.99 salad bar, but I decided to patiently wait for the band instead. I did, however, enjoy the establishment's entertainment while I waited. I highly recommend Natalie and Cherry.

A couple hours went by and still no Raymond And Scum. I began to worry. What if they were in a plane crash? What if they overdosed on something? What if Courtney Love drove them to suicide?

It turns out they just blew me off. Now I totally hate Raymond And Scum and I hope they die of cancer in the very near future. On the other hand, their live show is hilarious and their CDs are really, really good, too. Thanks for reading!

- Crítico Falso, Revista Deshonesta magazine