The major chord piano triplets which open The Vitamen's collection of songs, Children of The Bear are as simple and familiar as the story of Goldilocks and The Three Bears. They becon as if to say "Gather round kids, the story is about to begin", yet can in no way prepare you for the musical adventure which is to follow. The simplicity forshadows the thread of pop goodness throughout.  Your ears perk up to wonder "hmm, where are they taking me here?". The result is that of a really good roller coaster or perhaps your first shot of Wheat Grass Juice. Maybe you're a little afraid at first, but after taking (the ride) you go home energized, feeling like a bad ass. 
  I recently had the good fortune of being asked to judge a boys vs. girls contest at NYC's SINE nightclub. The Vitamen were on the bill for the boys team. Because I was primed for judgehood, I vowed that I would be fair and unbiased.....but with an air of arm-folded schepticism of the Simon Cowlick/Paula Abdul character I'd been put up to play for the night; you know, getting into the role. I hadn't heard of the band before, and when they stepped out on stage with shiny vintage guitar and polo outfits I was ready for my critique. 
  The Vitamen (who are Jesse Blockton (ld. vox and guitar), Matt Hyams (bass) and Dave Rozner(drums) won me over that night with their witty self depricating lyrics and hooky choruses. I knew I would be taking their record home with me when I heard Jesse croak out the line; "Show me a morning person I'll show you a liar, give em all a million bucks and watch them all retire". You get the impression that they won the Battle of The Bands in their hometown of Larchmont, NY by being simply the best then (their slogan on the Vitamen website), and they just got tighter and tighter by managing to stay together for the next 20 years or so!  
   The next song that won me over live was "Monster", where Dave showed his John Bonham inspired, bass drum heavy mastery. They also sang along with the guitar riff in flawless Robert Plant style- seeming to nod (and prod) at Zeppelin at once. Whether or not the Zep references were intended to be a sincere tribute or an indie rock stone to throw at their classic predecessors, the result was a slamming, proficient live rock set with just enough of a sense of humor to be taken COMPLETELY seriously, and the musicality to back it up..."St. John's Wort"s and all.
  The opening song "The Problem With America" celebrates Jesse's proposal for a more humane schedule of working hours. "11 to 7 instead of 9 to 5. " His voice is unique though if pressed hard enough I'd peg his as the vocal love child of Jonathan Richman and Paul McCartney. He calls for a chorus of ladies to back him up on this very reasonable proposal. Similar to Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side". 
   I have something positive to say about all the "Bear Tracks" so I'll just focus in on a few of my favorites. 
  The Best T.V. watchers in the World lyrically explores a slacker's brand of motivation and reward... It makes me feel okay for those countless hours spent in front of the tube. The stratoshperically high harmonies on this are extremely tuneful, and recall such bands as E.L.O. or the Bee Gees putting a unique spin on their eunich spawn. I honestly hadn't heard a male band even ATTEMPT these kinds of harmonies live OR on record in YEARS, and the Vitamen NAILED it! Rite on:)
 Happy Birthday has a deeply catchy bass riff which is offset by the rhythm guitar playing every alternating beat. Makes perfect new wave sense, and sounds like reggae on coke. There's a great percussion part on all the verses which hints of a person's teeth chattering!! This makes a perfect bed for the lyrics to lie on, as they were made about that very topic....drug excess. The main character demonstrates effectively a few of the choice inhibitions which are removed by such an indulgence (dancing with someone and singing Happy Birthday at the top of one's lungs, etc..) The harmonies are loose enough to sound like rock and roll, but always in perfect tune.
  Boyfriend begins with a lo fi sounding acoustic guitar which is almost ukelele like.  "You're so cute, wanna be your Boy-...friend....." There's some great rag time style piano riffs on it and a cool digitally simulated record skip at the end!! and as always, great lyrics.
 Apologize  (Possibly my #1 favorite) Is an upbeat number about pride, and swallowing..well not exactly. More specifically it mentions that phenomenon when couples fight how it always ends the same " I was wrong you were right..so why don't we skip this part and go straight to bed!?". Or maybe life itself is about the fight, and it is a necesarry turn on for people in long term relationships. Whatever you think about the topic you'd be wrong not to check out this song!.
  Obcessed features some really cool fast moving keyboard synths on it that remind me of the early 80s bands: Cars and ELO, or Todd Rundgren perhaps. The cool instrumentation fits perfectly with the song, not like a cheap trick.  They do recall the state of mind that Cheap Trick the band put us in with Dream Police. The lyrics begin "Screaming into my telephone to nobody, ooooooh". We've all been there.
 Sleep Dream Die is a Beatlesque track,  like "Sun King" in instrumentation. Swirly chorus guitar and all. Vitamen sum up your life in a few easy steps. "Eat, Drink, Smoke, slowly lose your mind". But this all happens so slowly that it serves as a microcosm for life itself. Pay attention!
 What Have I Done is a beautiful ballad in a drop D tuning. It's kind of about "Whispering in her ear and losing another friend" to quote Zeppelin once more. I am a sucker for such ballads, and this is one of the best of its kind. My favorite lyric is "What do other people do? Keep thinking I can just call you." I like the lyrical twist at the end where he changes "How DO we get back to friends to "How DID we get back to friends". Maybe I'm reading into this a little, but if you are a songwriter you will be inspired to write something after hearing this one.
  If you are out drunk at a bar you will love The Vitamen. The great thing is, if you're out at the same bar sober, you'll also love the Vitamen! They play danceable songs with a groovy beat and a sound that goes to eleven. If you like lyrics you'll love Jesse's. He's funny, irreverant and EAR reverant. Even the most uptight music critic in the universe will crack up and melt when he says "Was every girl on earth molested or am I just bad in bed?". That song is not featured on Children of The Bear, but this is the best fun filled cd I've heard all year!  It stands up to repeated listenings! Suppliment your CD collection and take your "Vitamen"!
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I've been a friend and fan of the Vitamen since their inception.  C'mon already!  This is far and away their best record.  The songwriting, perfomance and production are some of the best quirky pop to come out in a long time.  Don't delay.  These imaginative gentlemen have only hinted on prior recordings at the wacky brilliance that 
makes Children of the Bear so special.
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