Recent scientific evidence has shown that cats have existed on planet Earth long before man, dinosaurs, or even the first multi-cell creatures.   They came here by accident after passing through an experimental space/time machine that was inadvertently left on by an absent minded alien scientist living in a distant galaxy.  Four alien cats ended up on our planet via this mishap and were fruitful and multiplied.   

They had it pretty good until time and natural selection allowed the native flora and fauna to grow and develop around them.  They were ok with the flora but not too thrilled with the fauna, especially when creatures began crawling from the sea onto land.  These creatures represented a threat that had to be stopped but that became increasingly difficult as more and more species made the arduous trek from sea to land.

In an effort to take the fight to the enemy, they built a craft designed to sustain them under water.  The BEACH CRUISER (track 1) they designed would have worked great, if they had not installed bells, squeaky toys and flashing lights onto the hull, which somewhat reduced their stealth.  As a consequence, anyone who did not want to become part of the not so symbiotic duo of CHOP STICKS/ RAW FISH (track 2) stayed away.

The cats then tried to negotiate a peaceful resolution by inviting the sea creatures to a SURF SOIREE (track 3) but since none of the sea creatures spoke French, they were unaware soiree meant party, so they never showed.  This apparent snub infuriated the cats, particularly after they saw splashing caused by a massive FEEDING FRENZY (track 4) which they mistook for a party they were not invited to.  The sea creatures eventually understood what the cats were trying to do and made overtures of peace but the cats were so upset they told them to:  KISS MY CHERRY FLAVORED ASS (track 5 – for anyone who has not actually kissed a cats behind, they are cherry flavored).  

Although cats today no longer remember those dark days, their fear of water has been passed down from generation to generation.  Only the reclusive MONK FISH (track 6) who live in secluded deep ocean monasteries remember those times.  These abyssal monasteries have recorded the names of every being that has ever lived in or was TAKEN BY THE SEA (track 7).  They plan to one day release a box set of these recordings through Rhino called SILENT SWELL (track 8). 

Of all the feline participants in those long ago struggles, the most famous was a cat named MALIBU 62 (track 9) who was a grandson of Malibu 60 and a forefather of the infamous Malibu 69.  He tried convincing the sea creatures that if they did not stay in the water where they belonged, then cat commandos would be CROSSING THE BORDER (track 10) from land to sea and turn them all into JELLY FISH JAM (track 11).  However, since none of the beings he told this to were jelly fish, they saw this as an empty threat and ridiculed him with malevolent glee.  WHAT DID YOU SAY? (track 12) he asked in shocked disbelief, but the fight was out of him and he turned around to make THE LONG JOURNEY HOME (track 13). 
 
Although cats no longer defend the shoreline from an invasion by the sea, there has been an ongoing environmental attack of the sea and MOTHER NATURE IS PISSED (track 14).  If cats were able to speak, they would likely say that we should take care of our oceans.  THE SURF’S NOT FOR PUSSIES but one day it might not be for us either.
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