ART Paul Schlosser | My Cat Was Taking A Bath & Dead Skunk Perfume plus 23 other songs

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United States - Wisconsin

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Blues: Acoustic Blues Kids/Family: Children's Pop Moods: Mood: Fun
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My Cat Was Taking A Bath & Dead Skunk Perfume plus 23 other songs

by ART Paul Schlosser

Fun Happy songs that your kids will love and that will also make you laugh coming from a street musicians point of view.
Genre: Blues: Acoustic Blues
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. My Cat Was Taking a Bath
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1:43 $0.99
2. Purple Bananas on the Moon
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1:29 $0.99
3. The Worst Restaurant
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1:50 $0.99
4. I Want You to Marry Me
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1:41 $0.99
5. Scratch in the Record
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1:07 $0.99
6. A Flower Grew
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2:59 $0.99
7. The One Chord Song
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0:44 $0.99
8. The Shortest & Even Shorter
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0:52 $0.99
9. Pink Pants
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1:39 $0.99
10. My Daddy Wore a Raccoon Hat
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1:33 $0.99
11. My Bicycle
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1:34 $0.99
12. Let's Go Throw the Frisbe
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1:15 $0.99
13. Maybe You Think I'm Weird
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1:57 $0.99
14. Hand Hand Shake Shake Shake
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2:04 $0.99
15. The Latest Elvis Immitator
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2:20 $0.99
16. Thorn in the Flesh
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3:11 $0.99
17. Funky Funky
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2:18 $0.99
18. We Will Still Be Friends
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2:31 $0.99
19. Yippy Yippy Yippy Yippy O
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2:46 $0.99
20. Garbage Rap
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2:08 $0.99
21. I Need You & You Need Me
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0:54 $0.99
22. Never Go on a Date With a Thief
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2:37 $0.99
23. Dead Skunk Perfume
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3:06 $0.99
24. I've Got the Blues/Then You've Got the Blues/More I've Got the B
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12:45 $0.99
25. Jesus is the Joy When You've Got the Blues
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3:01 $0.99
Available as MP3, MP3 320, and FLAC files.

ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
This is the first CD I put out. It's kind of a fun happy type CD with alot of humor and some good philosophy with folk pop songs and a little homeade rap. This CD first got played on WIBA fm when Sly in the Morning was still there. If you remember listening to Sly in the Morning you might recognize the title Purple Bananas On The Moon or Pink Pants.Dr Demento fans also might have heard Purple Bananas on the Moon and now you can hear both those songs at Apple iTunes so I hope you will check them out there or check out the few sound clips here or how about reading the Lyrics:

1.My Cat Was Taking A Bath & Dead Skunk Perfume plus 23 other songs

1. My Cat Was Taking A Bath


1.I was riding home late one night
When there in my house I saw a light
And when I got inside
Right before my very eyes

Chorus:My cat was taking a bath
My cat was taking a bath
It was a quarter to 3
And I don't believe
My cat was taking a bath

2.Well maybe I had something to drink
Or maybe I just couldn't quite think
But my ma saw it to
And she said of coarse it's true(go back to chorus)

2. Purple Bananas On The Moon

1.There's purple bananas on the moon
I'm not quite sure but they said it was true
I'd go there and find out for myself
But I don't have the time or the wealth
I'd read a book about it too
But they say books can lie to you

2.Besides, they convinced me "ride this flying horse"
"It's the best we've got but we'll sell it, of course"
I know what your saying; the horse is a goat
with the price I paid, how could I say no
Besides they convinced me it really has wings
I'm going to fly to the moon, eat purple bananas, and sing
Purple bananas on the moon


3. The Worst Restaurant


Come to our restaurant
Come to our restaurant
Bring your family too
Come to our restaurant
Come to our restaurant
We’ll serve you Porky Pine Stew

It’s the finest Dandelion Pie
Soup of the day is Skunk Mushroom
The Parking spots they’re all occupied
No Bathrooms
No Bathrooms

The Music is all noise: Aughhhhh !
But you should see the menus
They’re all written in different foreign languages
So you can’t argue
You can’t argue with the cook

4. I Want You To Marry Me


I want you to marry me
I want you to marry me
Broken teeth
I’m living in poverty

I want you to marry me
I want you to marry me
I’m a real slob
I don’t got a job

I want you to marry me
I want you to marry me
I’m ugly and mean
I can’t fix a thing

I want you to marry me
I want you to marry me
I never shave or take a bath
But who cares about that

I want you to marry me
I want you to marry me
I’ve got warts and flies
I might even have a disease

And she said:

I will marry you
I will marry you
I’m a glutton for punishment
I’ll marry any husband

I will marry you

5. Scratch in the Record

Scratch
Scratch
Scratch
Scratch
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
A brand new record
Brand new rec
Brand new rec
Brand new rec
Scratch
Scratch
Scratch
Scratch
Don’t you like it
Don’t you like it
Don’t you like it
Don’t you like it
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
A brand new record
Brand new record
Brand new record
Brand new record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch in the record
Scratch




6. A Flower Grew


1.A flower grew
Upon a brook
A million went
To take a look
It was so cute
It was so small
And many watched
As it grew tall

Chorus:
A flower grew
A flower grew
A flower grew upon a brook
A flower grew
A flower grew
A flower grew cause Jesus cared

2.In a flower's life
The time is short
When winter comes
They live no more
But this one plant
Had stayed alive
While other plants
Could not survive

3.And as it lived
Pass through the cold
It got to be
So very old
I guess it was
So very glad
Because it still lives
Upon the land

4.The People watch
As it is there
I guess it stayed
Cause Jesus cared


7. The one Chord Song

This song only has one chord
That's why your bored
This song only has one chord
That's why your bored
One chord
Your bored
Your bored
One chord

8. The Shortest & Even Shorter
This is the shortest song I ever wrote
The shortest song I ever wrote
The shortest song I ever wrote
The shortest song I ever wrote

This ones even shorter
This ones even shorter
Even short

One note

9. Pink Pants

1.Well you can sing and you can dance
You might be real good when it comes to romance
You maybe able to tell a diamond from a glance
You ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants

Chorus: Pink Pants
Pink Pants
Said all you Uncles
And all you Aunts
All you Critters
And all you Cats
You ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants

2.It's the latest fad, the latest scene
It causes the woman to scream! Scream! Scream!
You may think I'm just a little bit obscene
But you ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants

3.Get you Uncle some
Get your Grandma some
Your late great Uncle Nate
All your relatives
Friends too

10. My Daddy Wore a Raccoon Hat

My Daddy wore a raccoon hat
He wore it all around
It wore it to this city
He wore it to that town

My Daddy wore a raccoon hat
He wore it everyday
He wore it one time
In a big parade !

My Daddy wore a raccoon hat
He like it very much
He took it to the cleaners
For that special touch

My Daddy wore a raccoon hat
While standing for his views
They took a picture of him
And put it in the Daily News

One day it was missing
I guess it ran away
But they saw it in the zoo
Just the other day

My Daddy wore a raccoon hat
He wore it every day
He wore it one time
In a big parade !

11. My Bicycle

Riding down the road on my bicycle
Having a good time
Hoping this will never end
Feeling fine
Feeling fine

I'm going down to that local mall
I'm going to get me a chocolate chip icecream cone
Cause that's one of my favorite flavors
That I really like
That I really like

Well sometimes you go real fast
Other times you kind of go slow
Sometimes you stop
Than you go go go go
Go go go


12.Let’s Go Throw The Frisbee


1.When I got nothing else to do
My friends all hanging around me too
Here's something that's kind of cool
Let's go throw the Frisbee

2.You and me and everyone
Just hanging around and having fun
Out in the shade or out in the sun
Let's go throw the Frisbee

3.It looks kind of like a U.F.O.
Oh know ! I caught it with my toe
Betty,Sue and even Joe
Let's go throw the Frisbee

13. Maybe You think I’m Weird


Maybe you think I'm Weird
But you haven't seen yourself in the mirror
Maybe you think I'm strange
But you haven't seen what you look like these days

Chorus:
If the shoe fits
Wear it
If the shoe fits
Wear it
If you think it's true
And it might be to
If the shoe fits
Wear it

Just cause I don't dress like you
Don't mean I'm not cool
Just cause I don't dress like you
Well maybe your the fool

14. Hand Hand Shake Shake Shake

*Chorus
Hand hand shake shake shake-shake shake hand
Hand hand shake shake shake-shake shake hand
Hand hand shake shake shake-shake shake hand
And thats how you do the handshake my friend

You want to me her and she wants to meet him
She wants to meet him and he wants to meet her
She wants to meet her and he wants to meet him
They want to meet us and and we want to meet them*

Lets all do the hand shake shake shake
It's real easy to do even your friend Bill or your Uncle Jake
Can reach out their hand and grab another hand and shake
And thats how you do the Hand Shake my friend*


15. The Latest Elvis Imitator

He's the lastest Elvis imitator
Singing Elvis songs from a boat from the equator
Drinking champagne and acting real cool
But he's not real,he's just a fool

Trying to be someone else
Just so he can get all that wealth
And now that he got his record contract
He's gonna bring Elvis back

To the world and to the stage
See him on the front page
Of every fan magazine you ever seen
Isn't he a real dream
Wait til he comes to your town
Flirts with all the women all around
Sings 50 million Elvis songs
Makes you all sing along

After 10 years or maybe so
One day a mustache he does grow
(Female Fan):Hey your Elvis don't you know
Elvis didn't have a mustache, No!

(Elvis Imitator):Well I'm Elvis and I'm the King
And I can do anything
(Female Fan):Well if your Elvis why aren't you dead ?
(Elvis Imitator):I've been really well fed

16. Thorn in the Flesh



1.What if the rapture don't come when it's most convient ?
What if God chooses for you a martyr death ?
Or maybe He has plans to make you unfamous and poor ?
Would you,could you still be greatful or do you want more ?

Chorus:
Oh it's easy
to be christian
when the going is well
And we always
want things
that look so swell
But what if it's a thorn in the flesh
And you prayed and you prayed but God says accept

2.What if scolars and teachers start to praise your work ?
But you come to a moment in life when you got to make a decision that hurts ?
And you know all your friends leave you and family treats you like a jerk ?
Or you get put in prison for something you didn't deserve ?

17. Funky Funky

Chorus
Funky Funky Funky Funky
Funky Funky Funky Funky
Funky Funky Funky Funky
Aww-Aww Funky

1.Your the girl that I adore
Your the girl I love before
You’re the girls I adore
Aww-Aww Funky

2.See her with the orange suit on
To her all the guys do run
See her with the orange suit on
Aww-Aww Funky

3.Well get out there and start dancing now
Show the people you’ve got the moves
Get out there and start dancing
Aww-Aww Funky


18. We Will Still Be Friends

We will still be friends
Though stories may not end
The way we want them to
Rivers don’t always run smooth
We don’t always get to make the rules
But still we must dream
And if we can succeed
We’ll shine brighter than
The brightest light beam
Oh I didn’t reach out to you
No you reach out to me
Made me want to do
Things I didn’t see
I’m broken hearted fool
But it’s more just a fantasy
I have learn a lot from you
And I’ve earn
More than just a story or two

Though we may not always be together
Still we’ve got memories we can cherish forever

Think of me and I’ll think of you
Smile upon the morning dew
I hope you are so happy
I hope you reach your destiny
And may your love be ever free
May your love be ever free
May your love be ever free
May your love be ever free
May your love be
Ever Free

Oh we may not always be together
Still we’ve got memories we can cherish forever

I Love You


19. Yippy Yippy Yippy Yippy O

Yippy yippy yippy yippy o
All the way to Idaho
Yippy yippy yippy yippy o
Get along little doggies
Get along little dogs
Get along little doggies
Doggieos

Well I knew a guy he had a riffle
And he used to hunt and shoot crow
I knew a guy he had a riffle
Until he forgot it was loaded and shot off his toe
He forgot it was loaded and shot off his toe

Well you buried your Grandma
You said a prayer over her
You buried your Grandma
Then who’s that sleeping in that rocking chair
Who’s that sleeping in that rocking chair

Well this verse is to a drunk
He gave up cigarettes because of cancer
Then he took up drinking beer
Now he’s reducing his life even faster
Reducing his life even faster

Well this verse is to a country western singer
He wrote a lot of good songs
And then he wrote some about God
Then he got arrested for doing wrong
Got arrested for doing wrong

Well what are doing next Friday night
What are doing tomorrow
What are you doing right now
Well how about if I just say hello
How about if I just say hello


20 Garbage Rap

They say it’s garbage that’s what they say
They say it’s garbage throw it away
They don’t realize it has potential to stay
They don’t realize it could be fixed up some day

They say it’s garbage they don’t even care
They say it’s garbage they frown at it and stare
They say it’s garbage they don’t give it a chance
But boy are they shocked when they find out it can dance

Oh Yeah !
Oh Yeah !
Oh Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah !

When they get sunshine they want shade
When they get a soda they want a lemonade
They don’t want tulips they want roses instead
but when they get them they only want the color red

Oh Yeah !
Oh Yeah !
Oh Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah !

They say it’s garbage that’s what they say
They say it’s garbage throw it away
They don’t realize it has potential to stay
They don’t realize it could be fixed up some day

They say it’s garbage that’s what they say
They say it’s garbage throw it away
They don’t realize it has potential to stay
They don’t realize it could be fixed up some day

Oh Yeah !
Oh Yeah !
Oh Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah !


So when you paint some beautiful scene
Of some hillside or forest you dreamed
Don’t be surprised to hear them say
It’s only garbage throw it away



21. I Need You & You Need Me


I need you, You need me, We need them, and they need us
So I'll help you,You help me.We'll help them,and they'll help us
But if I don't help you,You don't help me,We don't help them,And they don't help us
Then we'll be in a heck of a shape because everyone will be selfish
So I'll help you,you help me,we'll help them,and they'll help us
Then everything will be just find because no one will be selfish
Oh oh I need you
Oh oh you need me
Oh oh I'll help you
Oh oh help me

22. Never Go On A Date with a Theif

Never go on a date with a thief
He might just take your TV
No matter how good looking they are
Never trust them to the keys to your car
Never show them where
You put your diamond ring
Your ruby shaped in a pair
Or your golden things
Your valuables you want to keep
Never go on a date with a thief

Never go on a date with a thief
When they come it’s better to leave
They bring you diamonds really hot
From jail will keep you not
And no matter what their exterior
Even if they seem to care
Always keep in mind
Poison comes in pretty designs
I repeat
Never go on a date with a thief

Never go on a date with a thief
No matter how sweet
They might lie to you
And act like it’s true
And when the money’s gone
The truth will really dawn
It will be a reality
When your friend you no more see
If you don’t want a lot of grief
Never go on a date with a thief

Honey can I have the keys to the car ?

23.Dead Skunk Perfume

1.When I first met you
I thought you were wise
I thought your Ideas were real intelligent

How was I to know
That you were really crazy
And that Dead Skunk Perfume you would invent

Chorus:Well it stinks and it's lousy
And it smells like dead onions
Or even something worse:Dead people in the tomb
Don't open the bottle
If you should find it
Don't go out and buy Dead Skunk Perfume

2.Well I used to go out with
A real pretty lady
She loved me and she smelled just like a rose

But somehow you convinced me
That you were better
So now when we go out I hold up my nose/(go back to chorus)/

Bridge:Dead Skunk Perfume will kill your neighbors/Dead Skunk Perfume will kill you as well/And if you die with that smell on you/God'll kick you out of heaven and you'll go to(Well I hope not)/(back to chorus)/

24. I’ve Got the Blue//Then You’ve Got The Blue/More of I’ve Got The Blues

I’ve got the blues
Got the blues
I’ve got the blues
I’m all blue ahoo hoo hoo
I’ve got the blues
Got the blues
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue

Well you know it’s Monday
Or it’s Tuesday
Or it’s Wednesday
Or then It’s Thursday-Thursday ?
It’s Friday
Saturday
Or then it’s Sunday
Sunday
Sunday
Sunday
Sunday all the time

Well some people
They get the reds you know something like Pete Rose
And some people
They turn all green
Or some people
Just turn orange
Or something in between yeah
Something in between

But you know I get the blues
I get the blues
My face is blue
My hair is blue
My teeth are blue
My skin is blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
Through and through
I’m blue
You know it’s true



Well I’m depressed
Yeah I’m depressed
I got up to get dressed
But all I could find was a dress
I’m depressed
Oppressed
Distressed
To excess
I’m just depressed

Well you know sometimes we get the newspaper
And sometimes we got to look all over the yard for it
And sometimes we find it on the roof
And sometimes we just don’t get the paper
You know it’s all bad news anyway

And sometimes we get that good news mail
But most of the time we get the bad news mail
But most of the time when we get the mail
It’s bills
Bills
Bills
Bills
Or then it’s junk mail

Blah blah blah
Blab blab blab
Wowwwww !
Gosh
Gosh
Oh ee owe yeah
Owe ee oh


Well I went up to this
Hippy dude
I was thinking maybe
He could help me out
I said could you spare a dollar
He said peace, love, get a job
Peace, love, get a job

And a friend of my friend
You know he has a car
And you know he park it
In the Emergency zone
You know he was going to move it
In just minute
But forgot about it
And later they tolled it away
Later they tolled it way

And another friend of mine he has a car
You know sometimes
It actually starts
And sometimes
It stalls
And sometimes we’ve got to walk real far
Sometimes we’ve got walk real far

Kazoo solo

Well my girlfriend
She don’t go out with me
She went out
With my brother
And she went out
With my best friend
And she went out
With My Father
My Father
My Father
She went with my Father their married

And my girlfriend
She’s got red hair
But last week
It was black
And yesterday
It was green
And tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow it’ll be blue

Some people say
The Grass is greener
On the other side of the fence
Well went over there
To check it out
I found weeds weeds snake snakes
Snakes weeds weeds snakes

Well the morrow of the story is
Be content with what you’ve got
You can be content
Then be prepared for the punishment
Be prepared for the punishment

Oh I get the blues
I get the blues
I get the blues
I’m all blue ahoo hoo hoo
I get the blues
I get the blues
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue
I’m blue

Well there’s a monster
And it’s climbing on your back
And you go and get your 45
To shoot it
But you miss it
And it eats your nose
It cost a lot stitches
And a million bucks
And you don’t have blue cross
And you don’t have red shield
And your mother won’t pay for it
And your friends don’t care
And your girlfriend’s left you
And you don’t know what your gonna do
So they come over to your house
To repossess your valuables
And it really bothers
Well then my friend
Well then my friend
You’ve got the blues
You’ve got the blues
You’ve got the blues

Well your girlfriend
She left you
And you love her so much
And you cared for her
And you dated her
For 16 years
And right before
You were going to be married
I mean you made plans
And you passed out invitations
And you were engaged
And all that money
You know right before
It was all going to come true
She left you
Well then my friend
Well then my friend
Well then my friend
You’ve got the blues
You’ve got the blues
You’ve got the blues

Well you worked for
The company
For 35 years
Or should I say 60
And you gave your life
And you worked and drudged
And drudged and worked
They demoted you
They promoted
They promoted you some more
They paid you alot
But 5 years
Before you retired
They fired you
Well then my friend
Well then my friend
Well then my friend
You’ve got the blues
You’ve got the blues
You’ve got the blues





Well I got the blues
Yeah I get the blues
You know they can even
Happen to you
And you know
It’s true
The President gets them too
The President gets them too

Well I guess that this
Is the end of my song
But if I decide
To change my mind
Won’t mean that life
Is any easier
Just means I decided not to give up
Just means I decided not to give up

Now if there is any reason
Why I should discontinue this song
Please raise your hand
For if you like
I’ll sing it all night long
Or at least until you go bizerk
Or at least until you go bizerk

You’ll get the blues
You’ll get the blues
You’ll get the blues
You’ll be all blue hoo hoo hoo hoo
You’ll get the blues
You get the blues
Blue
Blue
Blue
Blue
Blue
Blue
Blue









25. Jesus is the Joy when you’ve got the Blues

1.Jesus is the Joy when you've got the BLues
Jesus is the Joy,you know it's true
Just start to Praise Him
Feel Joy within
Jesus is the Joy when you've got the BLues

2.Jesus is the Peace when strife won't cease
You know he's going to give you Release
Just start to Praise Him
Feel Peace within
Jesus is the Peace when strife won't cease

3.Jesus is the Love that your in need of
Jesus is the Love coming down from Above
Just start to Praise Him
Feel Love within
Jesus is the Love that your in need of


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