Art Paul Schlosser | They Won't Play This On The Country Western Radio

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Country: Country Folk Country: Traditional Bluegrass Moods: Mood: Funny
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They Won't Play This On The Country Western Radio

by Art Paul Schlosser

These are songs of Traditional Bluegrass & Folk plus some Country songs I made up which most them are performed on the Ukulele but a few are performed on guitar in a country rock style.
Genre: Country: Country Folk
Release Date: 

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1. Tom Dooley I ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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3:29 $0.99
2. Tom Dooley II ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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0:21 $0.99
3. Silent Night I ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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4. Venison Christmas & Silent Night II ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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5. Shall The Circle Be Unbroken ? ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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6. By By Ba-Baby ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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7. Hi How Are You ! ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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8. Skip To My Lou ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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9. Purple Bananas On The Moon ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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10. My Cat Was Taking A Bath ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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11. Red River Valley ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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12. I Like My Mother/Cockles & Mussels ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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13. Heavy Metal Ukulele ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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14. Boyfriends Mean ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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15. Misery Loves Company ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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16. They Won't Play This on the Country Western Radio ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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17. No One Recognizes Me Anymore ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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18. Neither Either or Nor ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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19. Angeline ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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20. I'm Just Another Lost Island in the Sea ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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21. Girlfriend with a Car ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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1:48 $0.99
22. 2nd Coming Boogie ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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23. 3 Note Song ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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24. 10 O'clock News ART PAUL SCHLOSSER
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ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
Well to begin with I should mention that when I was a little kid I heard Tiny Tim on the radio.I also saw Tiny Tim on Laugh In.So for some reason or other I thought if I learned the Ukulele it would make me great.Well it was fun and I really enjoyed learning these songs and I have to admit this CD doesn't sound completely like my others.The Heavy Metal Ukulele song on this CD I came up with as an original idea and it is a Ukulele that is being played into a microphone but though it sounds electric it isn't the first time anyone has done this.I was told that Tiny Tim had a Heavy Metal Band.So about the CD it is a bunch of songs that I learned to play with some finger picking pulling notes out of the chords and playing kind of bluegrass style on a Baratone Ukulele.A Baratone Ukulele is more like the Guitar.It's tuning is similar to the bottom 4 strings on the Guitar which are the notes D G B & E.With the old folk songs I've added some of your favorite ART PAUL songs.It was originally ment to be a little cassette tape I was going to sell as I toured the country playing my Ukulele but I never really decided to tour and the market for the cassette tape was bottoming out at the time.Alot of these songs I had been practicing in the Mountains of Colorado and if you live near Boulder you might have seen me one day playing on the street there.I also played I like my mother at an open mic somewhere near where me and a priest friend where camping.Well that covers most of the songs and the ones later on the CD are kind of an attempt to record a Country cassette but their more like a Country Novelty songs.They Won't Play This On The Country Western Radio was inspired by a friend of mine who plays Blue Grass on the a local radio station here where I live who said that's really not country and all The Comercial Country stations that really play Country Pop that sounds more and more like Country Rock everyday.How does the solo act get his country song on the radio ? So here is another ART PAUL SCHLOSSER CD with country and bluegrass styles of music in it and you wonder will there be more country and bluegrass in the future ? Should I say the title of one of the songs Neither Either or nor or just say only time will tell ?

Hey check out the lyrics to the songs:


1. Tom Dooley 1 & II

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley
Hang down your head and cry
Hang your head, Tom Dooley
Poor boy you're bound to die
You killed poor Laurie Foster
You know it's not a lie
You killed poor Laurie Foster
Poor boy you're bound to die

You tried to get away with it
But you know you couldn’t hide
You tried to get away with it
They caught you poor boy you're bound to die

Di-di-di, Di-di, Di-di
Di-di-di-di


I don’t know(laughter)

I got to start over I’m sorry

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley
Hang down your head and cry
Hang your head, Tom Dooley
Poor boy you're bound to die

You shot poor Laurie Foster
You know it's not a lie
You shot poor Laurie Foster
Poor boy you're bound to die

You tried to run away with it
But you know you couldn’t hide
You tried to get away with it
Poor boy you're bound to die




2.Silent Night I

This next song is for people that appreciate ah
Well they appreciate ah
Well they might like this one
A lot of people might like it I don't know
Especially people that don't like any music
They like this one especially
It's called silent night
Okay here you go


3. Venison Christmas & Silent Night 2


It was Late one December night
When My Dad saw a real bright red light
So he thought it just might
Be a reindeer in flight
So he pull out his gun
And he bagged him one

We’re gonna have a venison Christmas this year
Rudolph on the grill
We’re gonna have a venison Christmas this year
You can come on over too

Well some people like to eat turkey
And some people like to eat ham
Some people like beef jerky
And some people like eat spam
I don’t know what your serving
But we’re having venison


Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and Child.
Holy Infant, so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night, holy night,
Shepherds quake at the sight;
Glories stream from heaven afar,
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ the Savior is born,
Christ the Savior is born!

Silent night, holy night,
Son of God, love’s pure light;
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.

4.Santa Claus Twist

You go Ho ! Ho ! Ho !
And you go,go,go
Doing the Santa Claus Twist
You get a red suit
And you get your gal(guy) one to
Doing the Santa Claus Twist
You roll,roll,roll like you've got a big belly
Dust off your clothes like you've just come from the chimney
Take a chance
Do this dance
Doing the Santa Claus Twist

You get a little red hat
With a little white ball
Doing the Santa Claus Twist
All of a sudden
The reindeer you call
Doing the Santa Claus Twist
Dasher and Dancer,Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cuped,Downer and Blisten
Take a Chance
Do this dance
Doing the Santa Claus Twist

5. Shall The Circle Be Unbroken

I was standing by the station
On a cold and cloudy day
When I saw the hearse come rollin'
For to take my mother away.

Shall the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

Well I told the undertaker:
Undertaker, please drive slow,
For this body you are haulin'
Lord, I hate to see her go

Shall the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky

Well I followed close behind her,
Tried to hold up and be brave,
But I could not hide my sorrow
When they laid her in the grave

Shall the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky

6. By By Ba-Baby

By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by

I hate to let you go
But I know it’s so
And Darling Oh
I’ll miss you

By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by

It’s time like these
That I wish please
Reality
Just wouldn’t be

By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by

Oh send me a kiss
You know I'll miss
Your warm sweet lips
My Darling

By By Ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By By ba-baby
By By

Well you know darling along time ago I knew you
Or least I swore I did
We were walking across the bridge and one of the panels cave
in
I fell through it and in the river and in the mud
You laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and well you were ugly
And anyways your name is sue or jane or was it carla
And you know all those good times we had together when I borrowed all your money
Then I never paid you back and I wanted to but you know I couldn't
Because I thought you were someone else and I had to avoid you for awhile
Then you got rich and forgave me
Well you know time goes on

By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by

Yeah I hate to let you go
But I know it’s so
And Darling Oh
I’ll miss you

Besides I have to act like I don't know who you are
Because I don't want to be arrested for owing money


By By Ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By By ba-baby
By By

It’s time like these
That I wish please
Reality
Just wouldn’t be

Yeah
By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by ba-baby
By by
By by ba-by
By by ba-by
By by ba-by
By by

Oh send me a kiss
You know I'll miss
Your warm sweet lips
My Darling

Yeah
By
By
By by
By by
By
By

7. Hi How Are You

Hi, how are you
Hi, how are you
Hi how are you
Good to meet you
Good to meet you

I like friends, you like friends, we all like friends
I need friends, you need friends, we all need friends
You ain’t got no one for your friend
Come on over and visit me will be friends

8. Skip To My Lou


skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'

Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Skip to my lou, my darlin'

Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Little red wagon,
Paint it blue
Little red wagon,
Paint it blue
Little red wagon,
Paint it blue

9. Purple Bananas On The Moon

There's purple bananas on the moon
I'm not quite sure but they said it was true
Go there and find out for myself
Don't have the time or the wealth
Read a book about it too
They say books can lie to you
Purple bananas on the moon
Purple bananas on the moon

Besides they convinced me "ride this flying horse"
"Best we've got but we'll sell it of course"
I know what your saying; the horse is a goat
The price I paid, how could I say no
Besides they convinced me it really has wings
I'm going to fly to the moon, eat purple bananas, and sing
Purple bananas on the moon
Purple bananas on the moon

10. My Cat Was Taking A Bath

1.I was riding home late one night
When there in my house I saw a light
And when I got inside
Right before my very eyes

Chorus:My cat was taking a bath
My cat was taking a bath
It was a quarter to 3
And I don't believe
My cat was taking a bath

2.Well maybe I had something to drink
Or maybe I just couldn't quite think
But my ma saw it to
And she said of coarse it's true(go back to chorus)

11. Red River Valley


From this valley they say you are leaving
Gonna miss your bright eyes and sweet smile
For they say you are taking the sunshine
That brightens pathways awhile

CHORUS:
So come and sit by my side, if you love me
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
And remember that Red River Valley
And the cowboy that loved you so true

But if you truly do love me
And you meant it truer than true
Then why are you leaving this valley
And making my heart so blue

Well somewhere the sky is sunny
There is blue sky all about
But in Mudville it is raining
For the might Casey struck out

So come and sit by my side, if you love me
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
And remember that Red River Valley
And the cowboy that loved you so true

12. I Like My Mother/Cockles and Mussels

There's candy
Icecream
Chocalate
Good dreams
And I like my Mother !

Mothers are sweet
Mothers are nice
They help you
Give you good advice
And they make you cookies !

I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I Like my Mother !
I really Like My Mother !

Theres Uncles
Cousins
Sisters
Brothers
Fathers
And I like my Mother !

And I pray God
You'll let my Mother live a thousand years
So I don't have to get a job or do anything
And I can just live with my mother !

I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I like my Mother !
I really Like My Mother !


In Dublin's fair city
Where girls are so pretty
Twas there that I first met
Sweet Molly Malone
As she wheeled her wheelbarrow
Through streets broad and narrow
Mussels,
Cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh
Alive, alive oh, alive, alive oh,
Crying,
Cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh

Now she was a fishmonger
And sure twas no wonder
For so were her mother
Ad father before
And they each
Wheeled their barrows
Through streets broad and narrow
Crying,
Cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh


Well She died of a fever
And no one could save her
And that was the end
Of sweet Molly Malone
Now she
Wheels her wheel barrow
Through Heaven's
Gate narrow
Crying,
Cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh

13. Heavy Metal Ukulele

Heavy metal ukulele
Can't you dig it Baby
Don't it drive you zany
It's heavy metal ukulele

Every time I play they always pay me
And all the ladies they just go crazy
You know why ? I'll tell you why
Because I play heavy metal ukulele

14. Boyfriend’s Mean

She’s really pretty
Boyfriend’s mean
She’s really pretty
Boyfriend’s mean

I like her
She's my type
I want to date her
I'd rather save my life

She’s really pretty
Boyfriend’s mean
She’s really pretty
Boyfriend’s mean

She calls me up
Late at night
Says let’s go out
I’d rather save my life

She’s really pretty
Boyfriend’s mean
She’s really pretty
Boyfriend’s mean
Boyfriend
Boyfriend
Boyfriend
Boyfriend
Boyfriend
Boyfriend’s mean

15. Misery Loves Company

1.What are you doing tonight ?
Whatever it is I guess, it's alright
Cause I learned along time ago not to fight
Especially with a woman with a knife

Chorus:And I still love you dear
Though we've been going out for 16 million years
Oh your ugly,you sing bad,you wear a wig and drink beer
I've got worts,I stink,I'm blind,deaf and I can't hear
So I guess that we belong together
Cause realisticly you and me couldn't find anyone other
Oh I'll stick to you,you stick to me
Cause you know misery loves company

2.And if you ever decide to leave me
Well you know your just gonna grieve me
Oh it's not that I really love you
It's just that once your gone there will be no one to argue


16. They Won’t Play This on the Country Western Radio

They won't play this on the Country Western radio
It's not what they call Country
I don't wear no cowboy hat
And I didn't send them any money
I didn't send them any money

I come from the north
And I don't drink beer
And besides all these other things
They probable think that I'm queer
Probable think that I'm queer

Just cause I wear pink
Ain't that make you think
Everybody's judging everyone
And sometimes it's in the name of God's Son
Sometimes it's in the name of God's Son

Maybe it's because of the kazoo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well even if they don't play this on the Country Western station
It's not gonna bother me
That's not how I want to succeed
I don't want to succeed by conformity
I don't want to succeed by conformity

I wear the clothes I want to wear
And I cut my hair the way I want to cut my hair
Well if they don't play this on the Country Western radio
You know where they can go
You know where they can go

17.No Recognizes Me Anymore

No one recognizes me anymore

I used to be a famous star
Playing at all the honky tonks and bars
But now it's hard to get in the door

No one recognizes me anymore

Yeah I was on TV and the radio
I almost made some real dough
But now it seems I'm getting poor

No one recognizes me anymore

I said no one recognizes
I'm not wearing any disguises
No one recognizes me anymore

No one recognizes
No one even trieses
No one recognizes me anymore

Well the invited me to all the parties



18. Neither Either, Or Nor


Well you say you don't know
I don't know Either
I knew a girl named Either
But I didn't really know her
I didn't know her sister Neither
Yeah I didn't know Either
One day I tried to call up Either
But it wasn't Either
It wasn't her sister Neither
Yeah it wasn't Neither
It was their neighbor Julie
Well that's a different story
Do you want to know more
Tell you about their Mother Or
Their brother Nor
Yeah I didn't know their Mother Or
Their brother Nor
I didn't try to ignore
Their Mother Or
Their brother Nor
Just didn't know either
Yeah I didn't know neither
So it was a typical case of
Neither, Either, Or, Nor
Neither, Either, Or, Nor
Neither, Either, Or, Nor

Well
They moved last week
I'm hanging out with Julie
They moved last week
Well maybe they write me
But I'd rather doubt it
There's no doubt about it
I didn't know Either
Yeah I didn't know Neither
I didn't know their Mother Or
Their brother Nor
It was a typical case of
Neither, Either, Or, Nor
Neither, Either, Or, Nor
Neither, Either, Or, Nor

19. Angeline

Angeline
Angeline
Like Jello green
With whip cream
I love my Angeline

Angeline
Angeline
She is a dream
And a Queen
My Angeline

Angeline
Angeline
A gave her a ring
But she sold it for the cash

Angeline
Angeline
My skin just turned green
Your love gives me a rash

I was paddling paddling paddling paddling my boat to your house

I was paddling paddling paddling paddling my boat when I saw you already had a spouse

Angeline
Angeline
What does this mean ?
Hey I'm in doubt ?

Angeline
Angeline
What does this mean ?
Will we still go out ?

I was paddling paddling paddling paddling my boat and there was a hole in the boat

I was paddling paddling paddling paddling my boat blub blub blub blub


20. I’m Just Another Lost Island in the Sea


I'm just another lost island in the sea
No one comes over and no one writes me
No Baby on the phone
On weekends I'm all alone

I'm just another lost island in the sea
If there was away to unlock this lonely heart,I must of lost the key
I'ld write Ann Landers
But I spent the money at Colonel Sanders

I'm just another lost island in the sea
And just like Jesus, I want to say:"My God! My God! Why has Thou forsaken me ?"
Cause though I pray
I end up lonely anyway

I'm just another lost island in the sea
But I still smile,so you won't see my misery
But though I smile and fake
I can't hide this heartache

I'm just another lost island in the sea
Won't you bring your safety boat and come and rescue me ?
Send me a Life Saver
Cherry is my favorite flavor

I'm just another lost island in the sea
Uncharted,off the map so no one visits me
But if you drift my way
Won't you spend a day

I'm just another lost island in the sea


21. Girlfriend with a Car

I want a girlfriend with a car
I want a girlfriend with a car
I want a girlfriend with a car
She can drive me, we’ll go really far

I don’t care if she’s pretty
But gosh I hope she’s pretty
But even if she’s not pretty
She just got to drive me from city to city

You know if she’s got money
If she’s got money
I try to tell jokes and be real funny
If she’s got money

I want a girlfriend with a car
I want a girlfriend with a car
I want a girlfriend with a car
She can drive me, we’ll go really far

You know if she’s got money
If she’s got money
I try to tell jokes and be real funny
If she’s got money

And when we’re married and have kids
When we’re married and have kids
When we’re married and have kids
We’ll bring them up in the Taxi biz

I want a girlfriend with a car
I need a girlfriend with a car
I love a girlfriend with a car
She can drive me, we’ll go really far



22. 2nd Coming Boogie


He's coming back !
He's coming back !
He's coming back !
He's coming back !
Are you ready ?
Are you ready ?
Are you ready ?
Are you ready ?

23. 3 Note Song

There's only 3 notes
In this song
And I wish that it was
Just a little more long

You might think I'm funny
You might just yawn
But if I was on TV
I'd probably get gong

You might be smart
You might be strong
But if you said you're God
You're probably wrong

Cause one day you'll die
And then you'll be dead
And no one will remember
A word you said

So you better get ready
Have your bed made
Or you won't get none of that
Heavenly lemonade

That's all there is
There ain't no more
So before you leave
Don't slam the door



24. 10 Oclock News

Everybody wants to see
Who’s going to be seen
Who’s going to be nice
Who’s going to be mean
Hey you gotta be careful
This ain’t a dream
Crime maybe fun,
but jail isn’t keen

Everybody wants to know
Who’s going to be in the show
Will you get drunk
Will you lose all your dough
When it’s time to go
Where will you go
Will you be on the front page of the paper come tomorrow

Everybody’s watching
Who’ll be the next one
They just want to know
Who’s going to be the next victim
How far will you go
On that double dare
Will you be the top moron of the year

Will you be the King
Will you be the Star
Will you be the leading roll
In tomorrow’s nightmare
Everybody wants to know
How far you’ll really go
Do you gotta a conscious
Do you gotta a soul


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