ART Paul Schlosser | Words of Cheese & Other Parrot Trees

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Words of Cheese & Other Parrot Trees

by ART Paul Schlosser

It's Parodies of 50's and 60's songs plus some christmas songs gone wrong.
Genre: Pop: Beatles-pop
Release Date: 

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1. Let's Eat Cheese Mama
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1:54 $0.99
2. Words of Cheese
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1:36 $0.99
3. Cheddar Cheese
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1:09 $0.99
4. Eat Cheese Do
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5. (A Cheese That's Real)Not Fade Aawy
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6. I'm A Cheese Head
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7. Light My Cheese
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8. Mary Had A Big Lamb
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9. I Want To Hold Your Toe
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10. She's Gotta A Gorgeous Beard
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11. Wild Kazoo Thing
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12. You Are a Bum
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13. I'll Be A Gnome for Christmas
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14. Internet
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15. Sing Us a Song Your The Guitar Dude
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16. A Day in Life
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17. Smelt !
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18. Knocking On MY Own Door
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19. I Want To Shop Forever
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20. Have Yourself A Dairy Little Christmas
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21. Owwwwwwwww! My Head Hurts
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3:16 $0.99
22. A Hole in the Bottom of my Shoe
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23. Go Tell It On The Swingset
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24. Sleighride ?
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25. Before Xmas or After I Got Paid Still getting drunk at the bar.
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ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
This CD is a tribute to Wierd Al Yankovic a guy who I've been a fan of for quite a while.Weird Al taught me that music didn't have to be serious to be good.These songs are not Weird Al type of humor but rather my own style of humor in a Weird Al style of writing(The Parody).This CD actaully is a project I did originally as a character that I made up called Buddy Holly Cheesehead which is a character I do with a cheesehead,a suite,a tie, and fake glasses.So that is why there are 7 parodys with cheese lyrics and the Title is called partly Words of Cheese.I would have done the whole album that way but I ran out of energy after the first 7 songs and then I recorded Mary Had A Big Lamb for reasons I don't know.Then this song real sat around for years because at the time cassette tapes weren't selling very much anymore and I started to produce CDs and it was oringinally ment to be a cassette tape called Words of Cheese by Buddy Holly Cheesehead.As time went on and I continued to perform on State street I started to make up other parodies(When I say Parodies I mean a song using another song idea and making it in a joke but not always the original song and music often my parodies use new music I wrote with similar lyrics that I adapted and change parts of. So some of these parodies are really my originals but most are real parodies but not all are funny).When I started to make up new parodies alot of them happen to be Beatle songs and I came up with this idea for a title that was similar to Spike Jones I'm destroying The Classics.My title was going to be I'm ART PAUL SCHLOSSER and I'm wrecking the Beatles.At the same time I also thought of Doing a Demented Christmas Album but since there wasn't enough songs for a whole Beatle song CD or a whole Christmas CD neither, I thought how about just a whole Parody CD.So here is it is Words of Cheese and Other Parrot Trees(Parodies) Hey Weird Al eat your Heart out.BTW I should mention that I am sorry you can't hear too many of the songs here but now there on Apple iTunes or Maybe you can request them on Dr Demento at
http://www.clamhead.com/drd.php

Hey check out the lyrics if you like:

Words of Cheese and Other Parrot Trees

1.Let’s Eat Cheese Mama

Let’s all eat cheese Mama
Let’s all eat cheese
Let’s all eat cheese Mama
Just Anyway you do

Let’s eat cheese
Let’s eat cheese
Let’s eat cheese Mama
Anyway you do

I’m going to eat cheese Mama
I’m going to eat cheese tonight
I’m going to eat cheese Mama that’s for sure
So if you want to eat cheese
Just come over to my door

And will eat cheese Mama
Let's all eat cheese
Let's all eat cheese Mama
Just anyway you do

Papa he done told me
My Mama done told me too
You can’t get no Cheddar
Then Colby will do


Well some people like it hot
And some people like it cold
And some like it in the pot
9 days old

2.Words of Cheese

Words of cheese you whisper soft and true
Cheese, I love you

Let me hear the words of cheese I long to hear
Gently in my ear

Hold me cheese close and tell me how it’s feel
Tell me cheese is real

Curds of cheese you simmer warm
Cheese I love you

3. Cheddar Cheese

Cheddar Cheese
Cheddar Cheese
I want it
And I say please
Cheddar Cheese
I want it
And I just need
Cheddar Cheese

If you try
Cheddar Cheese
Than you know why
It's the key
Cheddar Cheese
I love it
And I say please
Cheddar Cheese

Pretty Pretty Please
Cheddar Cheese
Pretty Pretty Please
Cheddar Cheese

Cheddar Cheese
Cheddar Cheese
With the Taste
That pleases me
Cheddar Cheese
I want it
And I just need
Cheddar Cheese


4. Eat Cheese Do

Eat eat cheese do
You know it’s good for you
It taste good too
So please Eat cheese do

Some one to eat some cheese
Some one like you
Some one to have some cheese
Some one that’s true

Please eat cheese do


5.(A Cheese That’s Real) Not Fade Away

I’m gonna tell you how its gonna be
You’re gonna give your cheese to me
A cheese to last more than one day
A cheese that's real not fade away
A cheese that's real not fade away
Not fade away
Not fade away

My cheese for you is kind of like a Cadillac
I try to give it but you hold me back
Your cheese for me has got to be real
In order to know just how I feel
A cheese that’s real not fade away
A cheese that’s real not fade away
Not fade away
Not fade away

6. I’m A Cheesehead

I thought cheese was
Only true in Dairy land
And for someone else
But not for me
Hunger was out to get to me
That's the way it seems
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams

then you gave me some cheese
Now I'm a Cheesehead
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
You gave some cheese
I'm a Cheesehead
I couldn't stop eating it
If I tried

I thought cheese was
More or less a given thing
Seems more I gave the less
I got
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain

7. Light My Cheese

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a tease
If I was to say to you
There is nothing that I really need
Come on baby, light my cheese
Come on baby, light my cheese
Try to set the night on cheese

The time to hesitate is through
No time to sit around and sneeze
Try now we could only lose
And end up with some powder cheese
Come on baby, light my cheese
Come on baby, light my cheese
Try to set the night on cheese


8. Mary Had a Big Lamb

Mary had a big lamb
A big lamb, a big lamb
Mary had a little lamb
It was 60 feet tall

And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
Everywhere that Mary went
People said look out it might fall

It followed her to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed her to school one day
It was against the rules.

It made the kids laugh and play,
Laugh and play, laugh and play,
It made the kids laugh and play
To see the gigantic lamb smash the school


9. I Want To Hold Your Toe

Oh yeah, I'll tell you something
I think you ought to know
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your toe
I want to hold your toe
I want to hold your toe

Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your bow
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your toe
I want to hold your toe
I want to hold your toe

And when I touch it I feel happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my love
I get high, I get high, I get high


Oh you got that something
I think you ought to know
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your toe
I want to hold your toe
I want to hold your hand toe foot foot toe


10. She’s Got A Gorgeous Beard

1.I think I'm going be weird
I think it's today yeah
My girlfriend grew a beard
Ain't that strange yeah

Chorus:She's got a gorgeous beard
She got a gorgeous Beard-erd-erd
She's got a gorgeous beard and she looks great

2.She said that she just whoke up
And there it was
She don't know the reason
Or the cause(return to chorus)

11.Wild Kazoo Thing

This is an instrumental version of Wild Thing using alot of kazoo

12. You Are A Bum

Go they told me You Are A Bum
You're really dirty You Are A Bum
You didn't wear a tie today You Are A Bum
We don't want to serve you anyway You Are A Bum
You Are A Bum
You Are A Bum
You Are A Bum
You're not a prince or king You Are A Bum
Go do not come

I'm sorry no shirt no service You Are A Bum
You might be smart but you're still A Bum
Why don't you get a job and get some cash and money too
You Are A Bum
Don't Hang around
You Are A Bum
You Are A Bum
You Are A Bum
I won the lottery and I bought a nice suite
They want to have me at the restaurant now

13.I’ll Be Gnome for Christmas

I'll be a gnome for Christmas
You will see me small
You’ll look for me under the mistletoe
And you might not even see me because I’ll below all the presents under the tree

Christmas Eve will find me
Shorter than all the rest
I'll be gnome for Christmas
And where I’m hiding you’ll have to guess

14. Internet

Aol
Is it real or is it addiction
Do you like how it says you’ve got mail
Do you believe in Aol



Internet
All my problems are on the internet
Since I gave my E-mail to my exgirlfriend
Now I get spammed in AOL

Why she had to give out my E-mail
I don’t know she wouldn’t say
I said something wrong I long to change my E-mail address


Suddenly there’s a virus on my computer
Why it’s dying I’m not quite sure
Oh I used to believe in AOL

Why she had to give out my E-mail address
I don’t know she wouldn’t say
I said something wrong I long to change my E-mail address


15. Sing Us A Song You’re The Guitar Dude


Sing us a song, youre the guy that plays the guitar
We’re all in the mood for a melody
And youve got us feelin kind of wondering whether you know what your playing or not because we are not quite sure


Its 5 o’clock on a Saturday or Friday or Thursday sometimes I’ve got to play all week long
The regular bums shuffles in
There’s this old man yeah he’s sitting next to me
He’s making love to a bottle of gin
Yeah he got it over at the corner liquor store

He says, son, can you play me a melody?
I’m not sure you really can figure out how it goes
I don’t remember myself
But its sweet and I knew it complete
When I could really afford to wear some real clothes

Sing us a song, you’re that weird guitar dude
Sing us a song tonight okay don’t sing it just yell it
Yeah we’re all in the mood for an off key melody because we’re all drunk anyhow
And you got us feeling alright


La La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la Oh okay that’s it

Chorus:
16. A Day In The Life

I read the news today oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, i just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the house of lords

I saw a film today oh, boy
The English army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book
I love to turn you on.

Woke up, got out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
Ah

I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on
17. Smelt

Smelt !
I need some
Smelt !
Not just any
Smelt !
I need some
Smelt !

When I was younger
So much younger than today
I never ate smelt
I said hey man no way
But now I'm older
And I'm not so self assured
With the economy the way it is
I've opened up the door

(Chorus)
Smelt me if you can I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you bringing some around
Smelt would help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please smelt me
Smelt Me !

Smelt with tartar sauce is not my style
But smelt with a slice of lemon would really make me smile
Some people like smelt in a sandwich with ketchup on it
But smelt with pickles and ice cream is the pits
(Go Back To Chorus)

18. Knocking On My Own Door
Knock, knock, knocking on my own door
Knock, knock, knocking on my own door
My women won’t let me in anymore
Yeah I’m knock, knock, knocking on my own door

Took my car and took the keys
Left me a note says she don’t want to see me
She told me the bank account is gone
Wish I would get off their lawn

Yeah I’m knock, knock, knocking on my own door
I’m knock, knock, knocking on my own door
My women won’t let me in anymore
I’m knock, knock, knocking on my own door

Yeah sold all my CDs
Sold all my DVDs
Threw a suitcase out with a bunch of ugly old cloths
Said she’d call the CIA, FBI, or the police if I don’t go

I’m knock, knock, knocking on my own door
Knock, knock, knocking on my own door
My woman don’t want me anymore
19. I Want To Shop Forever
Let me take you there
Cause I’m going to
The local shopping mall
They’ve got plastic things from wall to wall
And nothing is real
I want to shop forever
I want to shop forever

I think my credit is real
It must be high or low
But if it’s max out
I’ll get another credit card

Let me take you there
Cause I’m going to
The local shopping mall
They’ve got a plastic penguin on their wall
And Bart Simpson talking doll
I want to shop forever
I want to shop forever

We can camp outside the artificial plastic tree
Get our camping gear from the camping store
Eat dinner at the Happy Burger Land
And shoot animals at the video arcade

Let me take you there
Cause I’m going to
The local shopping mall
They’ve CDs wall to wall
And Britney Spear’s new T-shirt
I want to shop forever
I want to shop forever

Let me take you there
Cause I’m going to
The local mini-mall
They have frozen ice cream cones
And lots of weird funny looking martin things
I want to shop forever
I want to shop forever

20. Have Yourself A Dairy Little Christmas

Have yourself a dairy little christmas
Have a milk or two
From now on you can eat lots of cheese

Have yourself a dairy little christmas
Make the yule tide yogurt
From now on you can gain a little extra weight

Here we are as in olden days
Happy Golden Jersy milk moo moo

Cheese curds will taste good
Hot chocolate will be good too

Milk milk milk
Milk milk milk
Milk milk milk milk

Cheese curds milk
Chocolate milk
And there is some yogurt too



21. Owwwwwwww! My Head Hurts

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing in our brains
And we’ve been drinking some whiskey
And we had some nice champagne
Owwwwwwwwww ! My head hurts
I drink too much alcohol
Owwwwwwwwww ! My head hurts
I’ve been drinking too much alcohol

Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup
Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup
Sing along with me hiccup
Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup
Owwwwwwwwww ! My head hurts
I’ve been drinking too much alcohol
Owwwwwwwwww ! My head hurts
I’ve been drinking too much alcohol

Bartender just one more to go
And a couple 53 or 4
Yes I’ll have the whole bar
And once your close I come back tomorrow once more

Owwwwwwwwww ! My head hurts
I’ve been drinking too much alcohol
Owwwwwwwwww ! My head hurts
I’ve been drinking too much alcohol

Tell me do you know which way
Is to find the place I’m going ?
I’m not sure just where I live
But I found some keys or 2
Are they really my keys ?
I’m not sure but they open some door
I think I’ll just sleep right here
Til tomorrow afternoon at 4


There's a hole in the bottom of . my shoe 
 There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe 
 There's a hole,there's a hole 
 There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe
There's a worm that crawls in the hole in the bottom of my shoe 
There's a worm that crawls in the hole in the bottom of my shoe 
There's a hole, there's a hole 
There's a log in the hole in the bottom of my shoe
There's a lot of rain that comes in with the worm in the bottom of my shoe 
 There's a lot of rain that comes in with the worm in the bottom of my shoe 
 There's a hole, there's a hole 
 There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe
And a well with the rain and the worm there’s a little sail boat in the bottom of the shoe 
 With the rain and the worm there’s a little sail boat in the bottom of the shoe 
 There's a hole, there's a hole 
 There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe
Okay And the little worm on the sailboat in the rainwater that’s floating around in the bottom of my shoe has a ukulele Yeah
the little worm on the boat that’s floating around in the rainwater has a little ukulele There's a hole, there's a hole
 There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe
And you know he not only has a kazoo and ukulele and sunglasses Yeah there's sunglasses on the little worm whose playing ukulele and has a kazoo on the boat floating around in the rain water that’s coming in my shoe in the hole in the bottom of my shoe 
 Yeah there's a worm with sunglasses whose got a kazoo and a ukulele whose on the boat that’s floating around in the rain water that’s coming in the hole in the bottom of my shoe
There's a hole, there's a hole
There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe

Okay well you know what he sings ? You know what that worm sings ? Yeah you know what he sings ? He sings there’s no hole in the bottom of my shoe but there’s a hole in the bottom of your shoe.Yeah that’s what he sings as he got the sun glasses and he’s got a kazoo and a ukulele and he’s on a boat yeah floating around in the rain water that’s coming in the hole in the bottom of my shoe Yeah the worm sings there’s no hole in my shoe but there’s a hole in your shoe and he’s playing the ukulele,
he’s got a kazoo and he’s wearing sunglasses and he’s on that boat that’s floating around in the rain water that’s in the hole in the bottom of my shoe
There's a hole, there's a hole
There's a hole in the bottom of my shoe

That poor guy has a hole in the bottom of his shoe but there's no hole in the bottom of my shoe

23.Go tell it on the swing-set

Go tell it on swing-set
Over the park and on the slide
Go tell it on the swing-set
That Jesus Christ has died

I thought of just the gifts
When I was a little kid
But when I got older
I thought of what he did

Go tell it on the swing-set
Over the park and on the slide
Go tell it on the swing-set
That Jesus Christ has died

Some people think of money
And some people think of gold
Some people think of diamonds
But his love was the greatest gold

Go tell it on the swing-set
Over the slide and in the park
Go tell it on the swing-set
To everyone light or dark

Go tell it on the swing-set
Over the slide and in the park
Go tell it on the swing-set
To everyone light or dark

Go tell it on the swing-set
Over the park and on the slide
Go tell it on the swing-set
That Jesus Christ has died

Some people of money
Or diamond rings
But the only thing I can think of
Is his love is what I want to sing

Go tell it on the swing-set
Over the slide and in the park
Go tell it on the swing-set
To everyone light or dark


24. Sleighride ?


Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing ring ting tingle-ing too
(Actually with alot of the noises from all the buildings near by it might be hard)
Come on, it's lovely weatherfor a sleigh ride together with you
(I hope so, maybe not.I’m not sure)

Outside the snow is falling
(sometimes ? actually it’s raining today)
And friends are calling "You Hoo"
(Actaully they don’t want me to. They told me to go away)
Come on, it's lovely weatherfor a sleigh ride together with you(What’s a sleigh ? We don’t have sleighs anymore. Have you been on a sleigh ride ? I don’t what it is but anyways, anyways um)

Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go let's look at the show
(I like to go to movies)
We're riding in a wonderland of snow
(I think that parts really for the people up in northen Wisconsin)
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it's grand
Just holding your hand
(with money in your hand well I hope anyways it’s good to hold people hands even if they don’t got money)
We're gliding along with the song of a wintry fairy land
(La, la, la, la, la it’s nice okay lets see oh okay there’s another part here)

Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we
(Of coarse I wasn’t sure which cheeks they were talking about so it’s kind of confusing but I hope they’ve got there coats on)
We're snugged together like two birds of a feather would be
Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two
(Or 3 hundred million oh I hope I don’t have to sing that many)
Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

Jingle Bells, jingle Bell hey well there you go


25. Either the Night Before Christmas of the Day After I Got Paid Still Getting Drunk at the Bar

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, well except for Daddy with a computer mouse

All the stockings were hung by the chimney with care (What’s a chimney ? What are stockings ? I hope they don’t, That one stocking is kind of ugly and dirty I hope they don’t expect Santa to put his hand down there)
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
(on his rocket ship because the reindeer I’m not sure, you know people are shooting a lot of reindeer these days)

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a martin spaceship with martins that look kind of queer

A little old driver, so lively and quick ,
I knew in a moment it wasn’t St. Nick

More rapid than eagles his spaceship it seemed,
I thought maybe this is either a nightmare or a very strange dream

So up on the house top that spaceship it flew
And I was wondering why it was landing it was kind I felt really confused

You know because of I didn’t see the script for the movie I was in
And a I’ld been drinking a couple tonics and gin.

Well all of sudden the martins came down the chimney
And they started to look funny at me

And one said lets sing Grand Ma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
And the other 2 they sand kind of weird

Well the next thing I knew it was morning or noon
And I woke up at the bar and it was June

(Laughter) I’m sorry I guess this is,
so
I don’t know if this is a good rhyme or not but

Hey Merry Christmas to all and to all who are listening to the poem that I am making up at I go
May you get a real gift but hey what the heck if you stuck with coal

You can always do an art piece on white paper
And that’ll be kind of nifty and dear

Have fun and Keep your day job


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