ART PAUL SCHLOSSER | Smile You're On Kandid Kamera

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United States - Wisconsin

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Folk: Angry Pop: Quirky Moods: Mood: Funny
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Smile You're On Kandid Kamera

by ART PAUL SCHLOSSER

Some very bitter songs that I wrote being depressed and commenting on the reality of life and some really Fun Happy kids songs too.
Genre: Folk: Angry
Release Date: 

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1. God is Watching You
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1:31 $0.99
2. Are You A Tree Killer
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2:33 $0.99
3. You've Got To Have A Koke
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3:59 $0.99
4. The Imagination Factory
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2:13 $0.99
5. I Heard You Just Had A Baby
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1:58 $0.99
6. She Wore Black !
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2:52 $0.99
7. I Love You ?
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1:04 $0.99
8. I Got Dumped
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1:34 $0.99
9. I Love You ??
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0:30 $0.99
10. The Back Street Boys(I Want To Kill Them !)
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1:59 $0.99
11. We say I Love You
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1:01 $0.99
12. Your Life is a Circle
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4:29 $0.99
13. Go ! Badgers Go !
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1:52 $0.99
14. Ron Dayne
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1:24 $0.99
15. Everybody
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2:10 $0.99
16. Bass Song
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1:51 $0.99
17. Smile You're On Kandid Kamera
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2:57 $0.99
18. The Times They Are Changing Back
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4:06 $0.99
19. Amazing Grace(Jazz style with 7th chords added)
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3:47 $0.99
20. Mary Had a Little Lamb
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0:40 $0.99
21. Mocking Bird
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0:27 $0.99
22. Oh Mac Donald(with a talking dog)
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ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
Hi,I'm Art Paul Schlosser and in talking about this CD I have to mention that some of the songs on this CD are of a very dark period in my life before I met my wife and some are very happy kids songs.

I had mixed feelings when I recorded this because part of me wanted to put some of the songs seperately on a kids CD.

The title track and Your life is a Circle are songs that when I perform them live on State street they are like video plays

When I do the Title Track I act like they are filming us and when I do Your Life is a Circle I play guitar while spinning around in circles.

The CD originally was suppose to come out about 2001 after Ron Dayne broke the record and won the award here at the UW.

Another interesting song is Amazing Grace where I added 7th chords to make it more of a Jazz style or Rock N Roll style song.

Many words about the CD could be written but you'll never know if it's what you like unless you play the clips.

One last thing about the CD is the song The Back Street Boys(I Want To Kill them) wasn't written so much to literally kill the Backstreet boys but rather I am trying to make a statement about Top 40 radio and how it makes you feel especially when they play some romantic song over and over and over.

Sorry you can't hear that song here but you can hear it if you request it on Dr Demento at: http://www.clamhead.com/drd.php or you could download it at Apple iTunes.

Hey check out the lyrics to the songs:



1. God is Watching You

God is watching you
God is watching you
It's a fact
It's really true
God is watching you
No matter what
You say or do
Cause God is watching you
You might be red
You might be blue
You might be orange
Or green too
I don't care
Who who
God is watching you

2. Are You a Tree Killer

Are you a tree killer ?
Do you kill trees ?
Your wasting a lot of paper
Some of it you don’t need
We’re living in a time
When we need to conserve energy
When you waste paper
Then you kill trees

Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?

You say you’re a political activist
And you give me the slip
It’s written in long sentences with hard words
Yeah I don’t understand it
Can’t you tell me plainly
What you stand for
Cause I don’t want no more paper
Yeah I don’t want to waste paper

Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?

You might think I’m a fanatic
Cause I love trees
But if we kill off all the trees
It gonna be hard to breath
It takes plants
To make oxygen
Hey might say wasting paper
Is really sin

Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you Phyllis Diller ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a pill-piller
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Is this to long ?
Is this to long ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
When should I stop ?
When should I stop ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?
Are you a tree killer ?



3. You’ve Gotta Have A Koke

Maybe it’s because it’s the weekend
Or maybe it’s because it’s just Friday
Or maybe it’s because your kind of bored
But you’ve gotta have a Koke

So you stick your hand in your pocket but you don’t find nothing
Yeah and your dollars are disappearing
You don’t get paid until next Monday
And you’ve gotta have a Koke

So you go back to your apartment and you look for change
You find foreign coins but they don’t work in the pop machine
And pennies don’t work neither
And you’ve gotta have a Koke

Your twitching and your hair is itchy
Your buzzing about like your nervous
Your wondering what your gonna do about it
And you’ve gotta have a Koke

Maybe it’s the fact that your girlfriend dump you
Or you just got fired from your job
Maybe cause you broke your skateboard
But you’ve gotta have a Koke

Hey lets face it your really addicted
Could it be caffeine has got you
Or could it be you like those ads on the commercials
And you’ve gotta have a Koke

Yeah your digging around your apartment for any dime or nickel
You call up your girlfriend’s boyfriend’s grilfriend’s grilfriend’s boyfriend’s to ask about the money she owes you
Then she says you owe her a 20
And you’ve gotta have a Koke

Kazoo~~~~~~~~
Kazoo~~~~~~~~
This kazoo solo is not solving your problem
And you’ve gotta have a Koke

Now sing it with me everybody out there

You’ve gotta have a Koke, you’ve gotta have a Koke, you’ve gotta have a Koke
(Real easy words)You’ve gotta have a Koke, you’ve gotta have a Koke, you’ve gotta have a Koke
You’ve gotta have a Koke, you’ve gotta have a Koke, you’ve gotta have a Koke
Pay for by the Brainwashing Kola Institute


4. The Imagine Nation Factory

1.The sun is shining
And I'm smiling
It's another one of those brand new days
Everything is just A okay

Welcome to the Imagination Factory
Welcome to the Imagination Factory

2.We're going to have fun
You and me and everyone
You can bring a friend along too
Yeah it's going to be cool

Welcome to the Imagination Factory
Welcome to the Imagination Factory

3.This is the part where you can jam
Do you have a drum stick ?
How about some pots and pans ?
Or how about a kazoo ?
Can you say the word kazoo ?

Welcome to the Imagination Factory
Welcome to the Imagination Factory


5.I Heard You Just Had A Baby


1.Well I heard you just had a baby
And I heard she just maybe
Was Wonderful,Beautiful,a Darling

2.Well I heard she's a Bundle of Love
And I heard she's an Angel and a Dove
And God gave her to you so you could have someone to love

3.Well be careful what you do
Yeah she's going to imitate you
So you got to be a good example

4.Well I pray that you are wise
And I pray that you realize
What it takes to be a good father





6. She Wore Black

She wore black
She wore black
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

Yeah her shirt was black
Her dress was black
Her hat was black
She wore black-She wore black

She look like the night
I felt scared, I felt fright
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

I felt doomed
I felt like a dead body in a tomb
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

It’s a fact
She even had a black hat
She looked like a black cat
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

Was it the moon full
Was it Friday the 13th
I just don’t know
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

All of a sudden the lights went out
I started to scream, I started to shout
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

And I was worried
I felt like I should leave in a hurry
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

You should of seen my hair
Man I was scared
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black

No she didn’t wear no yellow
No she didn’t wear no green
She didn’t wear red, She didn’t wear blue, She didn’t wear orange

She were black
It’s a fact
She wore black-She wore black-She wore black
And the string broke to




7. I Love You ?

I love you
I love you
I’m lying
But I love you

You’re beautiful
You’re ugly
I forgot
What were we talking about

Your name is Susan
Or is Carol
Or is it Angie
Oh I forgot

You don’t know
who I am
You don’t want to go out
anymore

I don’t understand
I thought you said we should go out tonight
Is there something
Unexplainable


I love you
I love you
I really love
Your money





8. I Got Dumped

I got dumped
I got dumped
She said I look like a camel with a hump
I got dumped
I got dumped
And then I got dumped again

She said let’s just be friends
And I was thinking well maybe that would be good to just be friends
Then she said You know I thought about it again
And I don’t even want to be your friend

I said you know I’ve got money
She said you think that’s money
She thought that was kind of funny
Because she had 3 times as much money

9. I Love You


I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
Hey did I say I love you
Well maybe I love
Oh well maybe I don’t love you I’m sorry

10. The Back Street Boys(I Want to Kill Them)

The Backstreet Boys want to be my girlfriend's boyfriend
The Backstreet Boys want to be my girlfriend's boyfriend
But I want to kill them
I want to kill them
I want to take a wrench
And really kill them
And last week I smashed the radio cause they kept playing that darn song

Yeah the Backstreet Boys want to be my girlfriend's boyfriend
The Backstreet Boys want to be my girlfriend's boyfriend
But I want to kill them
I want to kill them
I want to take a wrench
And really kill them
Because last week it cost me more than a 100 bucks to take my girlfriend to their concert
And she dumped me for some guy who claimed to be their roadie

So I want to kill him
I want to kill her
I want to kill him
I want to kill her
And then I want to go out with Britney Spears
And I want Britney Spears to pay for everything
Cause although I think she's pretty I'm a little broke

11.We Say I Love You

We say I love you
To the chair
We say I love you
To the house
We say I love you
To our car
We say I love you
To our money
But do we say I love you
To our neighbors
Do we say I love you
To our friends
Do we say I love you
To the people important like our relatives and our family
Do we love
Our President
Do we love
Our Government
Do we love
Our Principle
Do we love
The Mayor
Do we love
what’s important
Or do we love
What’s unimportant

12. Your Life is a Circle

Your life is a circle
Your life is a circle
Going round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Another day another dollar
Another day another 50 cents
You got to go to work
You got to get home
You got to go to bed so you can get up again
So you can pay all those bills that keep coming back every month

Your life is a circle
Your life is a circle
Going round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
And round
And round
Welll everyday is the same old routine
Another cigaret another cup of coffee
Meet the same old friends in the same old way
Everyday is the same routine
The same routine everyday

Your life is in a circle
Your life is in a circle
Going round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
And round
And round
Well everyday you look in the mirror
All these lines they never get quite clear
Your getting closer to the grave
Your hair is turning gray
You don’t feel very brave
You getting closer to your death day

Your life is in a circle
Your life is in a circle
Going round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
And round
And round
Well one day you meet a girl
Next thing you know your holding hands
And next thing you know you go for coffee
Then one day you actually kiss her
Then your dating seriously
Your engaged
Then you get married
And for the next 10-40 years
You get up the same everyday
The same ugly face everyday

Your life is in a circle
Your life is in a circle
Going round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
And round and round and round and round

Kazoo~~~~~~~~~~~

Well maybe your life is not a circle
Cause there’s those special holidays
Like Christmas and Easter, 4th of July and Thanksgiving
You know those holidays
They are different aren’t they ?
No
You got to spend them with thoses relatives
The same relatives year after year

Your life is in a circle
Your life is in a circle
Going round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and round and round



13.Go Badgers Go
Go Badgers Go
Go Badgers Go
Go Badgers Go
Go
Badgers
Go

Win Badgers Win
Win Badgers Win
Win Badgers Win
Win
Badgers
Win

I want a hotdog
Hey man I want that hotdog
Can’t you hear me I want a hotdog
I had to go get that hotdog did they score while I was gone ?
They did !

I want some nachos
You got some popcorn
How about a soda
Hey I got all the food in the concession stand they didn’t score while I was gone ?
They did !

Go Badgers !

14. Ron Dayne

Ron Dayne
Ron Dayne
What a name
What a game
Did you see him break the record

Ron Dayne
Ron Dayne
In Wisconsin
He's the fame
And I heard he won the Heisman

33
33
That was his number
Yes indeed
And now it's been retired

Ron Dayne
Ron Dayne
He's now in that
Professional game
And maybe soon he'll be in the All Stars

15. Everybody

Everybody’s trying to be cool
They all think they’re real smart
Everybody’s trying to be the best
Even if they get a broken heart

Everybody wants to win
They all want to be the next Bob Dylan
Elvis, B.B. King , or Madonna
Whatever it takes to win

Everybody wants to go to L.A. or New York
They all want to be Jay Leno or David Letterman
Everybody but myself
I just want to be who I am


16. Bass Song

This is the bass song
I’m singing bass
I’m singing low
I’m not high
I’m low
This is the bass song
Bassss
Everybody sing along
Bassss
Everybody sing along
This is the bass song
Bass song
Bassssssss
Bassssssss
Bassssssss
Et, et, et, et
Et, et, et, et
This is the bass song
This is the bass song
This is the bass song
Et, et, et, et
Et, et, et, et
Et, et, et, et


17. Smile You’re On Kandid Kamera

Okay are the cameras rolling ?

Okay they are ?

Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera

It’s in the bushes, it’s in the tree
It’s in the window yes indeed
There’s a camera somewhere near
Smile there’s no reason to fear

Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera

There’s a camera somewhere nearby
Smile there’s no reason to hide
Everybody let’s all pose
Who’s taking the pictures no one knows

Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera

It’s the FBI,the CIA
It’s the TV,the Movies
It’s some guy,he’s got a website
He looks at your picture every night

Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera

Kazoo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They saw your picture in the moniter
They know you didn’t pay for that beer
And that’s why they’re coming for you today
They are going to take you away

Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera
Smile you’re on Kandid Kamera

That’s a take



18.The Times they are Changing Back


Come gather round people from wherever you roam
And admit that the water is polluted
You won't stand up against the government about the environment
The times they're changing back

Yeah you who write with a pen and prophesied
You care more about the money now
You won't write anything really controversial
The times they're changing back

Yeah you've got all your money in the bank and mutual funds
So you can't help anybody's that's really down and out and poor
Because your trying to make it in the big time and be rich
The times they're changing back

Bob Dylan is famous and he's making the money
And I'm here on State street
No one wants to hear this type of song
The times they're changing back

Yeah everybody’s collecting all sorts of commercial items
They’re building their walls and storing them
Yeah let’s all hold onto things and be capitalist
The times they're changing back

Well maybe you think I’m just a little bit weird
To be talking about important issues
And maybe I am because I’m not going to get any money for this
The times they're changing back

Yeah what’s really important is to have an Elvis collection
Or maybe a Pokemen collection
No one really wants to do anything important like World peace you know the Peace Corp
The times they're changing back

There’s no hippies and there’s a lot of yuppies
There’s communist but they’re really not communist
And there are socialist but they’re really capitalist
The times they're changing back

Well if Bob Dylan sues me about this song
He’ll have to find out that the chords are a little different
And I didn’t really steal any of his music
Because he probable stole it from someone else
The times they're changing back

Everything is popular and everything will be popular
And whatever’s popular now will be popular later
And was ever was popular may become popular again
Because the time is changing back

So dress up so people can see you on the outside
And don’t be concern about the heart
Hate your neighbors but love money
Cause the times they're changing back


19. Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun

Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God
Praise God Praise God Praise God
Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise
Praise God Praise God Praise God

In the beginning was the Word
And the Word was with God, And the Word-The Word was God
Through him were all things,And without him was nothing
And he is the light of world

He’s the Alpha and Omega, The beginning and the end
The Lion of Judah and the Prince of Peace
He’s the Great I am, And his name is Jesus
And through him we have salvation

Amen Amen Amen Amen
Amen Amen Hallelujah
Amen Amen Amen Amen
Amen Amen Hallelujah

20. Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb
Little lamb
Little lamb
Mary had a little lamb and some olives on the side

Mary had some pork and beans
Pork and beans
Pork and beans
Mary had some pork and beans and a cheeseburger to go

21. Mocking Bird ?

Hush little baby don’t say a word
Poppa’s gonna buy you a mocking bird
And if that mocking bird don’t sing
We’re gonna put him in the pot and have dinner
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
We’re gonna put him in the pot and have dinner

22. Old MacDonald(with a talking dog)

Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O 

And on his farm he had a horse, E-I-E-I-O 

“Heeeeee” "heeee"
here a "heeeeee" there 
a "heeeee"

Everywhere he did go "heeeee" 


Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a cat, E-I-E-I-O
"Meow" "meow"
Here a "meow"
There a "meow"
Everywhere he did go "meow"


Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a cow, E-I-E-I-O
"Moo" "moo"
Here a "moo"
There a "moo"
Everywhere he did go "moo"

Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a real smart dog, E-I-E-I-O
You know how smart his dog was ? You might wondering ?
And not only could he juggle 3 things on one hand while standing on the other one and spinning around and then using the third hand to a direct traffic while the other foot was juggling 3 more things
But this dog could talk
You might be wondering what did this dog say ?
Well one time someone was at the door and they ask the dog who was at the door ?
And he said: “ ruth “ “ruth “ “ruth”
Then one time there was you know they were wondering where Old Macdonald was and Old MacDonald was fixing the antenna
And the dog said: “roof’ “roof “ “roof”
And then one time because the dog had fallen from a high palce they wondered how did that feel
And the he said: “rough” “rough” “rough”
Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I
E-I-E-I
E-I-E-I-O


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