I walk in me garage.I stick a banister rail from B&Q into a rusty old tin.I stretch three strings across it.I tape a cheap pickup into it.It takes three hours to make but would take anyone who knew what they were doing half that.If someone had've walked in that afternoon and told me I'd be playing that banister rail/tin box guitar at the 100 club nine months later, I'd have said, "You're nuts-anyway, what you doing in me garage?"
I smash a bottle to make a slide.I slip a chicken wishbone under the strings to bring the tuning up to open A.I plug into a little practice amp.Sounds good.I write a short tune and play it into a webcam.I need a name-I have no large intestine,so I call myself Hollowbelly.I put it on youtube.I think everyone will hate it.They like it.I write another,then another.It sounds like punk.It sounds like blues.Punkblues.
A promoter from NotTheSameOldBluesCrap rings me from London-says he wants me to play a gig.I say I can't 'cos I need to practice.He says he'll ring back in a month or two.He rings back,
"Can you play next Thursday?"
"erm, ok..where is it?"
I think he's gonna say 'in the backroom of the Red Lion in Dicksplash-Upon-Sea', but he doesn't.He says "The 100 Club."
"Thee 100 Club??!"
He's laughing,"Well if you're going to debut it might as well be there."
So here I am, walking down the back stairs of the 100 Club.The first thing you see are black and white photo's on the walls of people playing there-Sex Pistols,Rolling Stones,Muddy Waters,The Damned...not too intimidating for some Northern bloke carrying a banister rail guitar.
The place fills.DJ Cushley spins groovy tuneage.I sit with clenched fists punching me own legs.I'm psyched.Raye the sound dude's walking over and saying "You ready?"