Insights into pop culture, celebrity, American culture circa 2008. Obsession with starlets on prescription drugs, paparazzi ruthlessly stalking sex scandal train wrecks, gay outings. We like to build them up and then we like to break them down. And we sure love a comeback. Big sunglasses, hot asses, rehab, out of control lust for more details. I'll walk ya through the tracks:
Celebriwho Celebriwhy Celebriwhat Celebrifuck. Anyone and everyone can be and wants to be famous today. You too can star in a reality show. Every wanna be wanna be seen on the TMZ. Jessica and Nick split, I'm still tryin' to deal with it. Maybe I should have a fit just like Brit Brit. And then there's Oprah, yo - Don't mess with Oprah, we all love Oprah.
The Aztec, or the Mayan calendar, whatev, it ends in the year 2012. Does this signal the end of the world as we know it? If we've only got 4 more years on earth then give me Britney For President. Seriously. Vote for Britney now. On the evening of January 3, 2008 after a three hour standoff the young pop star was taken by ambulance to the hospital for evaluation. In those three hours 800 paparazzi converged on her home along with news and police helicopters. The hours long stand off was televised non stop in Los Angeles and on many national cable 'news" channels. Perez Hilton had over 10 million hits that day. So if all ya'll 10 million who are so interested in this girl were to vote in the Presidential election you could decide the election. So get off your ass, get into the voting booth and write her precious name in for president if you are so inclined. Just get off your ass and get into the booth. You've got to be registered to vote first. Your vote counts. You count.
I'm not a mind reader. I'm not a detective either. But I know exactly what you're thinking. I know how to push your buttons, but I' don't want nothing. I know you feel about it. I know how to make you shout it. I see right through your lies and I know how to make you cry. I know how to make you feel joy. I read it on your Blog.
Keep on shining, twinkle love light, you're a star. We're gonna watch your every move you're makin' in you're car. Every minute we're gonna know where you. That's what it's like if ya wanna be a star. We like to build 'em up and then we like to break 'em down. We crave more details Tabloid Star.
I know how to get your pictures back into the magazines if your stalling starlet career needs a little refreshing. Double guaranteed to be the talk around the water cooler. Did you see the naked pussy pictures of her on the puter? Show Your Pussy. Then all the pseudo entertainment news shows are gonna lead with it. All the dudes at grocery store magazine check out gonna read it. Parent will warn their children not to read it. Then of course all the kids will need to read it. I'm not sayin' that it's right or wring. I'm just sayin' that it's goin' on.
Everybody got a cell phone. Everybody got a camera in your cell phone. Are you gonna take picture or a video and put it on the internet and see how many people watch it? If it's kinda sexy or has a hot title it might get highlighted or even go viral. Sex sells as we burn in hell. If ya see a celebrity you gotta get the pic. If you don't sell 'em out someone else will. Do you have a Cell Phone Camera?
A public service announcement targeted to all the Gone Wild Chicks. You and I both know exactly what the dude wants - He wants' to get in your drawers. If that's what you're askin' for, ya wanna get, get it, flash em some more. First you might want to consider the consequence…you might could get what you're askin' for. Have another shot, whatever, so what.
This is a message for the parents. We're looking for The Next Jonas Efron Miley Cheetah Hudgens Tisdale Hayden Duff. You think you've got the stuff? Enroll the little princess now in poise and voice and dance class, maybe some pageants where she can show how she shakes her ass. You could be a star. Oh. You're over thirteen? Sorry, see we got Dakota here bankin' five mil per film. At thirteen years old girl you're over the hill. Who needs a childhood when you could be bankin' baby? Casting now for babies with an orange spray tan.
Good evening. On The News Tonight… The weekend box office results are in and we have a new million dollar man…Kelly Pickler and Wilmer Valderrama are with the USO entertaining the troops in Iraq, (did Katie get an eye lift?) and more madness with Jamie Lynn Spears…right after this story about the war…but first this… picketers are still protesting…second day of protesting… picketing the opening of the new Wal Mart.
I want to take a moment to thank the Jet Baker fans world wide who've downloaded my tracks and CDs. I appreciate your support. Thank you. You're also probably wondering. WTF Is This Shiz? This disc is different than my CDs Marijuana Christmas, Puff On A Big Fat J, Supersonic Chronic, Coffee Shop, Who Got The Marijuana and Pot Party. Um, like, uh, this disc is not all about weed. Just like life. Life is not all about weed. Will Jet Baker release another Cannabis themed CD? Listen to the shiz. This track holds the answer.
This is just another song about Rainbows And Unicorns. I know you've heard 'em all before. But I went ahead and wrote one more. In a cupcake world where tangerine dreams are more common than they may seem… Where the kitties and the puppies and the guppies share bread.
It's not sushi. It's a dance. Samba Tako
If You Are Easily Offended…a shameless promotion for Jet Baker and www.JetRap.com. No apologies for my art. If you've had an adverse reaction, well…
When you look in the dictionary next the word celebrifuck you'll find a picture of me. Sweet. Google my ass.