Yee-Haw ladies. Time to saddle up and take another ride upon The Mike Macharyas Express. It's like Ginuwine once said: If you're horny, let's do it, ride it, my pony, my saddle's waiting, come and jump on it.
Mike Macharyas is more than just a man. He's a leader. He kisses babies. He's good to old people. He delivers packages on time. He tips his waiter. He calls his mother just to say hi. He pays for dinner. He's adopted Cambodian babies. He captures pedophiles and brings them to justice.
And all you can say about him is he's a "New Wave" artist??? People, Mike Macharyas has done things you don't have the mental capacity to comprehend. While you were smoking dope and listening to the Doobie Brothers, Mike Macharyas was fighting in 'Nam. When you were watching Lionel Richie sing "We Are The World," Macharyas was spoonfeeding an African baby Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And who do you think was in Berlin with a fuckin' sledgehammer the day the Berlin Wall came down? It was Mike Macharyas, you putz, now show the man some respect!!!
And just like that, the man of few words has more full-length albums than nine inch nails. This dude works quick. He don't play. No fuckin' around, OK? He needs to talk to Axl Rose about putting out Chinese Democracy. And where the hell has Zack De La Rocha been? Soundgarden Against The Machine is toppin' charts, but hothead Zack can't even put out a SINGLE!
But that's the nature of Macharyas, all work, no play. He brings home the bacon. Put food on the table. That's the way it is with a guy like him. He gets his money no matter what. You got no business? Fuck you, pay me. You had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning? Fuck you, pay me.
But you know, times have changed. It's not like the Old Days, when we can do anything we want. A refusal is not the act of a friend. If Mike Macharyas had all the judges, and the politicians in New York, then he must share them, or let us others use them. He must let us draw the water from the well. Certainly he can present a bill for such services; after all... we are not Communists.
New jams, ladies and gentleman, no doubt. Funk that shit up on "Jamie Foxx," sing-a-long like a dumb broad to "Gwen Stefani" and get freaky deaky on "Spongebob Squarepants." Y'all gonna need some Ambesol cuz after Macharyas is done throat-fuckin' you, you won't know WHAT hit you!