Rich Ramsey | Dude You Need This Comedy

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Spoken Word: Comedy Hip-Hop/Rap: Comedy Rap Moods: Mood: Fun
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Dude You Need This Comedy

by Rich Ramsey

This comedy CD is for all fans of comedy and comics laying out simple guidelines of how to be an OPEN MIKE comic. Featured artists include comics RICH WHITE and ALLEN SMITHEY with the music of JAY PLOT 1-3ra and ROXIE SAKURA. And on course RICH RAMSEY.
Genre: Spoken Word: Comedy
Release Date: 

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Tracks

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1. JuVinci Code RICH RAMSEY
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1:50 $0.99
2. Wrong Body RICH RAMSEY
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2:18 $0.99
3. Gay Hollywood RICH RAMSEY
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3:54 $0.99
4. Camping RICH WHITE
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2:32 $0.99
5. Career Open Miker RICH RAMSEY
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4:02 $0.99
6. The George 4 Men ANTHONY CANTY
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3:18 $0.99
7. Black Hollywood Conspiracy RICH RAMSEY
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2:42 $0.99
8. Doug and Dereck RICH RAMSEY
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2:36 $0.99
9. Movie Reviews RICH RAMSEY
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1:33 $0.99
10. The Zoo RICH WHITE
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2:57 $0.99
11. Mexican Immigration Issue RICH RAMSEY
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4:42 $0.99
12. Jason Versus Labor Reddy RICH RAMSEY
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1:40 $0.99
13. Deranged Fans RICH RAMSEY
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1:54 $0.99
14. UHH OHH! JAY PLOT 1-3RA AND ROXY SAKURA FEATURING D-PANIC
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3:38 $0.99
15. Pilot Pitch #547 RICH WHITE
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1:32 $0.99
16. Venice Beach RICH RAMSEY
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1:16 $0.99
17. Chiech & Chung Tribute RICH RAMSEY
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2:12 $0.99
18. How to Quit Smoking RICH RAMSEY
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1:18 $0.99
19. Pilot Pitch #442 RICH RAMSEY
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2:18 $0.99
20. Mick at Night RICH RAMSEY
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3:30 $0.99
21. Friends and Mental Health RICH WHITE
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5:18 $0.99
22. A Clockbroke Orange RICH RAMSEY
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4:08 $0.99
23. Happy Now ROXY SAKURA
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3:52 $0.99
24. Stay Tuned RICH RAMSEY
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1:02 $0.99
25. Clear Me Now Dance Mix RICH RAMSEY
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7:40 $0.99
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ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
A COMIC FROM MICHIGAN MOVES TO L.A AND HITS THE OPEN MIKE CIRCUIT AND REALIZES HE NEEDS A TOOL TO PROMOTE HIMSELF SO HE INVITES 6 OTHER COMICS AND A RAPPER TO DO A COMEDY CD. 2 COMICS SHOW UP AND THE RECORDING ENGINEER LENDS SOME OF HIS MUSIC. THREE DAYS BEFORE THE COMPLETION OF THIS CD THE RECORDING STUDIO WAS BROKEN INTO AND ALL THE COMPUTERS AND DIGITAL KEYBOARDS WERE STOLEN,WHICH WAS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBURG FOR ALL OF THE MYSTERIOUS HAPPENINGS WHICH OCCURED WHILE I WENT OUTSIDE THE MAINSTREAM AND PRODUCED MY OWN COMEDY CD. TRACK 24 TALKS ABOUT ALL THE OTHER STRANGE HAPPENINGS-ENJOY. I HAD A BLAST MAKING THIS CD.
TRACK 1--- JUVINCI CODE
I wrote this bit after hanging out at
Vance Sanders open mike of love at the Westwood Brewing Company in of course Westwood. Its a Tuesday night comedy show for up and coming comics with has lasted ten years thus far. Vance Sanders is a great warm and funny host who wants all to prosper. The bad side is he is boys with the most annoying B actor ion the planet- MATT COMPLAIN I believe is his name.After listening to this creeps material
I wrote the Juvinci Code. I am always uplifted when I drive through the large Jewish community on La Brea avenue in West LA and feel a sense of warmth, but Matt Complain is a real jerk who just happens to be Jewish. I still say hold to the rule of not messing with the Jews but Matt Complain is an ass.
TRACK 2--- WRONG BODY
This CD was written from a spiritual viewpoint.
The song Wrong Body is a way of getting the slaves of men to wake up and realize these are just bodies and you never die only the body does. After taking some flack from another comic I wrote this song, enjoy. Jay Plot 1-3ra provided the beats, search for him on CDBABY.
TRACK 3--- GAY HOLLYWOOD
Yes I did work for a Gay 75 year old house builder named herb. He would work with his men, crawl under houses, lift sheets of lumber and run marathons. Herb is gay, One day while working for him in downtown Beverly Hills he got on my nerves big time so I decided to write him into my act. I must say after parting ways with Herb I got into a bind and all I had to do was call him and he was right there with 60 bucks and no favors had to be given, I am straight thank you very much. There is a gay mafia in Hollywood and I think it is safe to say he is a member.
TRACK 4-CAMPING
TRACK 10---THE ZOO
TRACK 15---PILOT PIRCH 547
TRACK 21---FRIENDS AND MENTAL HEALTH
Rich White is a comical genius. I first saw him perorm at the Ha Ha Cafe in North Hollywood while scouting talent for a comedy show I was putting together in Pamona and invited Rich White to be join my team, later I asked him to be on my CD. I wrote him a pilot pitch and got him in the studio. He read off the pilot pitch cold then proceeded to give me his pure comedy which I called Camping, The Zoo, and Frinds and Mental Health.
Thanks Rich White.
TRACK 5-CAREER OPEN MIKER
The open mike circuit in LA is designed to keep unassuming comics busy and preoccupied to a point where they never get anywhere. The audience is mainly other comics who are waiting for their turn to perform.Once a person has the ability to make a room full of comics laugh
he or she should move on. The coolest open mike show I ever attended was hosted by Nicole Jones, she is friends with Alonzo Bodden and convinced him to do her show one night. Good Times.This was at the Ha Ha Cafe in North Hollywood.
TRACK 6-THE GEORGE 4 MEN
ALLEN SMITHEY is an actor/comic who I saw at the Ha Ha Cafe in North Hollywood when he performed a 30 second comedy skit about his George 4 men Grill which was hillarious. I invited him to be on my CD and then wrote the George 4 men pilot pitch based on his comedy. He was very well rehearsed and performed like a trooper.
Thanks ALLEN SMITHEY.
TRACK 7-THE BLACK HOLLYWOOD CONSPIRACY
I wrote a comedy bit for a black comic and then invited him to be on my CD, he was very receptive about coming into the studio until he found out I wrote the comey. He did not even read what I wrote---FUCK HIM.
I Cannot help but feel he did not do the bit because it was writted by a white person---me.
TRACK 8-DOUG AND DERECK
MURDER IN BELLEVILLE, MICHIGAN. Two kids in the suburbs of Detroit are handfed psychiatric drugs and when they reach their early twenties decide to bash a mans head in with a tire iron. while hiding the body they shove doughnuts into the mans mouth---WEIRD. Having known these two I wanted to go back to my hometown of Belleville and have Doug and Dereck cry to high heaven about their use of psychiatric drugs during the trial.I did not make it back so the wrong thing to do is nothing--I wrote this song.
TRACK 9-MOVIE REVIEWS
Steven Speilburgs Munich just impressed me.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman blew up with his film Capote and he deserves a hats off.
I love hollywood movies and Class A Actors!
TRACK 10-RICH WHITE
TACK 11-MEXICAN IMMIGRATION ISSUE
I needed work and went to a temp service called CLP on Venice BLVD in West LA. The lady who handled the application process was a real hater. She was mexican and after a degrading interview she ripped up my application right in front of me. I later heard that happened to be the week of the Mexican Labor protest where all of the illegal immigrants marched in a parade in downtown LA to show their strength and numbers. I guess I felt the backlash of that situation so I wrote this bit.
TRACK 12-JASON VERSUS LABOR REDDY
I wrote this bit after using temporary employment services in LA as a way to support myself while doing stand up. BAD IDEA.
TRACK 13-DERANGED FANS
I wrote this track as a dedication to all people with absolutly no sense of humor.
TRACK 14-UHH OHH!
TRACK 23 HAPPY NOW
I wanted good music on my CD from up and coming artists. JAY PLOT 1-3ra and ROXIE SAKURA at LICORICH RECORDS got the job done with these two songs.UHH OHH! also features D-PANIC. Jay Plot 1-3Ra was also my recording engineer and saved me time and money by being so good with pro-tools--Thanks ALL ACCESS MUSICIAN.Search for Licorich Records and Roxie Sakura on CDBABY--GOOD STUFF.
TRACK 15-PERFORMED BY RICH WHITE.
TRACK 16-VENICE BEACH
What a beautiful place full of tourists, merchants and locals. I got both my tats at
The House of Ink on Venice Beach by a talented artist named Luke who hails from Arizona. My favorite pizza on the planet is at Big Daddy and Sons pizza on Venice Beach. The best Chineese fast food can be found at Tasty Goody on Lincoln BLVD in Venice.At night after these place close the freaks come out just like in the movie Escape from New York--scary stuff.Main Street in Santa monica is awesome at night-hang there,on third street, or at the Santa Monica Peer, NEVER IN VENICE BEACH.
TRACK 17-CHIECH and CHUNG TRIBUTE
I have always been a Chiech and Chung fan since watching their movies as a kid. Pretty much the Mexicans havetaken back California and I wrote this bit as a satire of the times.
TRACK 18-HOW TO QUIT SMOKING
Yes I labored on Paul Allens estate in the Hollywood Hills and wrote the situation into my comedy. It was a pleasant enviroment and happy times.
TRACK 19-PILOT PITCH #442
I wrote this pilot pitch called Help a Brother Out and would really like to develop it into a weekly series.It spoofs all the oddites which some how end up in Hollywood.
TRACK 20-MICK AT NIGHT
Just a spoof on old time T.V shows. I wrote this knowing the masses would get the humor do to Nick at night.
TRACK 21-RICH WHITE
TRACK 22-A CLOCKBROKE ORANGE
I wrote this because I am a huge Stanley Kuprick fan. at the age of 12 my friend David Gutierez was the first on the block to get cable. One Friday night at midnight we watched A Clockwork Orange. What a lasting impression it had on me the way Malcom Mcdowel narrated this masterpiece of cinema. The music was also cool.
Jay Plot 1-3RA produced the music in this track. Thanks Jay.
Track 23-Roxie Sakura and Jay Plot 1-3RA
From the album Happy Now on CDBABY.
Track 24-STAY TUNED
I just thought it would be fun to write about all the bizzar happenings which I encountered while making this CD. I had a blast.
Track 25-CLEAR ME NOW DANCE MIX
SILENCE IN THE BIRTHROOM PLEASE!!!!!!
If it were possible to remember all the way back to conception and recover everything that was done and said while you in the whom would your parents protest???????
TRACK 26-- THE UNFINISHED TRACK
In case your wondering, the Mexican comic didn't show up.
SONG LYRICS-------
WRONG BODY LYRICS BY RICH RAMSEY
WRONG BODY MUSIC BY JAY PLOT 1-3ra'
CHILL OUT BEFORE YOUSAY I'M WRONG FOR DOING WHAT I DO, DON'T HIDE BEHIND YOUR BODY TYPE YOU KNOW THESE WORDS ARE TRUE.
LIFE AFTER LIFE I ALWAYS PICK THE WRONG BODY STYLE, IT'S NOTY COOL TO BE A WHITE MAN, SO HERE I AM ON FUNKIN TRIAL.
CHORUS
BECAUSE I ALWAYS PICK THE
WRONG BODY WRONG TIME
IT'S MY CHOICE BUT I ALWAYS PICK THE
WRONG BODY WRONG TIME
I NEVER DIE BUT I ALWAYS PICK THE
WRONG WRONG BODY WRONG TIME

WORKING ON THE RAILROAD GETTING IT BUILT VERY LITTLE WATER TO DRINK
I'M TELLING YOU STRAIGHT UP THAT YOU WERE THE WHITE MAN AND I WAS THE FUNKIN CHINK.
THE SPIRIT NEVER DIES GETTING BODY AFTER BODY
NEVER THE SAME ONE TWICE
EARTH IS A DUMPING GROUND FOR FUCKED UP SPIRITS
ONES WHO AREN'T VERY NICE.

CHORUS

BACK ON TIME TRACK WHEN THE PSYCHIATRIST CAUSED THE HOLOCOST
I LEFT TWO BODIES LYING THEN BECAME A LITTLE LOST
JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU GET UPSET AFTER WATCHING THE NEWS
YOU PROBRABLY DROVE A TANK FOR THE GERMANS
AND I WAS WITH THE JEWS

CHORUS

I WROTE THIS DVD AS A SPIRIT NOT A BODY TYPE
SO SIT BACK RELAX, HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE HYPE
ALWAYS REMEMBER LIFE IS A GAME
PLAY IT LIKE ONE AND WIN
JUST KNOW THAT THE PLAYERS ARE IMMORTAL
AND YOU'LL MEET THEM ALL AGAIN
HOPEFULLY NOT IN THE
WRONG BODY WRONG TIME

SONG LYRICS-------
DOUG AND DERECK LYRICS BY RICH RAMSEY
DOUG AND DERECK MUSIC ARRANGED BY RICH

DOUG AND DERECK YOUR APPLICATION FOR SECURITY CLEARANCE HAS BEEN DENIED.
IT'S A BIT STATICKY, CAN YOU CLEAR ME NOW
WAIT I'LL MOVE OVER HERE, CAN YOU CLEAR ME NOW
NO I'M SORRY THE PSYCHIATRIST GOT A HOLD OF YOU
WE CAN'T CLEAR YOU

DEAR PSYCHIATRIST DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME
I AM MUCH TO BUSY WITH MY COMEDY
BUT WHEN I TELL THE PEOPLE YOU SHOCKED THE
E TRU HOLLYWOOD STORY
THERE GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN IN THE STREET
AND CUT YOUR FUNKIN HEAD OFF

CHORUS----
CAN YOU CLEAR ME NOW
NO I'M SORRY THE PSYCHS GOT A HOLD OF YOU

DEAR PSYCHIATRIST DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME
I AM MUCH TO BUSY FLORISHING
BUT WHEN I TELL THE PEOPLE YOU DRUGGED
THE E TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY
THERE GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN IN THE STREET
AND CUT YOUR FUNKIN HEAD OFF

CHORUS

DEAR PSYCHIATRIST DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME
I AM MUCH TOO BUSY HELPING
BUT WHEN I TELL THE PEOPLE YOU DIAGNOSED
THE E TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY
THERE GONNA HUNT YOPU DOWN IN THE STREET
AND CUT YOUR FUNKIN HEAD OFF

CHORUS
--------------

SONG LYRICS-------
CLEAR ME NOW DANCE MIX LYRICS---RICH RAMSEY
CLEAR ME NOW DANCE MIX MUSIC ARRANGEMENT-RICH RAMSEY
CAN YOU CLEAR ME NOW-
NO I'M SORRY THE PSYCHS GOT A HOLD OF YOU
AS I WALK THIS EARTH A ZOMBIE
GOING FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I REFLECT BACK OF MY TIME IN THE UTERUS
AND AM GLAD TO BE OUT OF THAT FUNKIN SPACE

CHORUS
I CAME DOWN AT BIRTH AND PICKED UP THE BODY
IT TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE WHOM
THESE MOTHERS OF EARTH HAVE BEEN A BIT NAUGHTY
TREAT THE FETUS BETTER OR MANKIND IS DOOMED

IT GOT SUCKERPUNCHED IN THE FACE
BY SOME DICKHEAD 27000 TIMES
WAS SOAKED IN LYSOL FOR 3 DAYS WITH NO BREAK
AND GIVEN 1432 JABS BY A COATHANGER MADE STRAIGHT

CHORUS

SO IF YOUR GONNA MAKE A BABY
HERE IS A WORD TO THE WISE
DON'T STRAIN HAVE INTERCOURSE, MASTERBATE
OR USE SPEECH AROUND AN INJURED FETUS GUYS
SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CHORUS

AND SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO GET RID OF IT
HAVE A PROFESSIONAL HANDLE THE KNIFE AND CUT
IF THE BABY IS ABUSED FROM CONCEPTION TO BIRTH
IT WILL WALK THIS PLANET A FUNKIN ROBOT

CHORUS

CAN YOU CLEAR ME NOW
NO I'M SORRY THE PSYCHIATRIST
GOT AHOLD OF YOU


Reviews


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Derek Williams

Great Comedy Skits and Songs!
I love this album of Rich Ramsey and his team giving me the chuckles with amusing skits and songs. I discovered Rich Ramsey and U Never Die Entertainment on YouTube.com and got hooked! This comedy Cd is 74 minutes of great comedy. The CD delivers the goods!

Rich Ramsey

Rich Ramsey is the funniest man on the planet.
This CD is packed full of punch lines and surprise endings.
Great Great comedy skits and awesome music. I bought 10.