1 – To The First Tee
Quite a bit happens before you even take that first official swing. You must dress properly, have all the necessary equipment, make your way to the golf course, change your shoes, make sure you are dressed properly (again), check in, find the cart, hit a bucket, practice a few putts, and then you should be ready to go. Eventually you jump in line and are hit with the realization that a lot has happened, and you have not even been called “To The First Tee”.
2 – Drive For Show
It is golf’s greatest cliché, “Drive for show, putt for dough”. Intellectually everyone knows scoring is achieved around the hole, but emotionally it is all about the drive. Nothing matches the feeling of exhilaration that accompanies a pounding drive down the middle, and the emotional importance of a huge drive creates a heightened sense of awareness in the tee-box. At least three others are looking on, and the probability for comment is high. You take a couple practice swings, address the ball, and everyone goes quiet. A conservative drive is unacceptable. Your drive must be the longest, as each tee shot represents a claim to foursome supremacy – a chance to “Drive For Show”.
3 – Long Way
Off in the distance lies the destination. You see a tiny flag flapping in the wind and think to yourself, there is no way a ball can travel that far. You search the bag for a club that does not exist, and settle for the latest technology that promises tee box performance from places other than the tee. You strike the ball with everything you have hoping for a miracle, only to realize that after another short cart ride that your destination is still a “Long Way”.
4 – FORE!
Sometimes you hit a shot that does not go exactly where you want, sometimes you hit a shot and it goes nowhere near where you want, and sometimes you hit a shot that’s direction is potentially disastrous. When your shot is heading towards an unsuspecting peer, there is only one thing you can do. With the enormous fright and embarrassment that accompanies a terrible shot, at first it may be a little difficult, but with a lot of practice you and everyone around you can learn to shout golf’s customary warning – “FORE!”
5 – Teaching Aids
Golfers spend billions of dollars every year in an attempt to buy an improved golf game. The numbers and types of golf apparatus that are available in today’s world are even more mind boggling than the game of golf itself. No matter how many gizmos and gadgets that are developed to assist golfers in their quest for glory, there will still never be enough, because each and every golfer wants and needs more “Teaching Aids”.
6 – Bunker Blues
We have all been there, those big pits of small granular particles that surround the final destination for no other purpose than to create extreme frustration. As you approach the appropriately named pit, you start to fear what the trap might do to you. There are several probable outcomes, and most are not good. Your feet sink into its contents, and you swing a swing that is completely different from any other. Sand flies everywhere as you desperately search amidst the storm for the round sphere of white, hoping that its escape eases your sad feelings that are otherwise known as the “Bunker Blues”.
7 – Cart Girl
Few feelings match the pleasure that is achieved by bringing together two of life’s greatest discoveries – golf and adult beverages. At some point in every round most folks want to experience the union of these two great inventions and search desperately for the individual that can make it happen. If they are lucky enough to come in contact with the modified golf cart, they gladly exchange their hard earned financial wealth for a sample of its contents. Once the aiming oils are procured, they properly tip and bid adieu to the “Cart Girl”.
8 – One Bird
This could be the one - the hole where it all comes together. Every shot will be executed to perfection and the small white sphere will drop into the cup on a stroke that is one less than the “expert’s” expectation. For most of us it does not happen frequently, and for all of us it does not happen frequently enough. But the potential for this event to actually occur is our primary source of motivation – the chance to achieve just “One Bird”.
9 – The Turn
Most every game has one – a specifically designated break in the middle to reflect on the first half performance and look forward to the remainder of the game. Golf’s mid-game pause is a little unique in that you can conterminously enjoy food and beverage during this time of reflection. You add up the numbers to produce the first half scoreboard and head out for what is sure to be an improved second half – which is just one of the reasons it is called “The Turn”.